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SHOWGIRLS
* * * (1995, 131 minutes, Rated NC-17)
Like "So You Think You Can Dance" gone horribly wrong.
IN A HURRY? CHECK OUT OUR MINI-REVIEW IN THE UTICA OBSERVER-DISPATCH!
The tagline for this movie is “Leave Your Inhibitions At The Door.” I’m surprised it’s that subtle.
Certainly, subtlety isn’t the strong suit of director Paul Verhoeven (Robocop, Starship Troopers).
This is the kind of film where on a number of occasions, characters seduce each other with the
power of dance. The kind of film where almost all of the main characters behave in the most erratic
and over the top fashion, because that’s “drama.” The kind of film where there’s a dance-fight.
No, if advertising were honest, the tag line to this film would have been “Come for Elizabeth
Berkley's boobies, stay for everyone else’s boobies.” I was a tad too old for the heyday of “Saved By
The Bell,” so I came into this movie lacking the crucial Jessie fetish that was so obviously used to
sell the film. So for me, Berkley is merely a barely competent actress who is nowhere near as hot
as I’m supposed to think she is.
* * * (1995, 131 minutes, Rated NC-17)
Like "So You Think You Can Dance" gone horribly wrong.
IN A HURRY? CHECK OUT OUR MINI-REVIEW IN THE UTICA OBSERVER-DISPATCH!
The tagline for this movie is “Leave Your Inhibitions At The Door.” I’m surprised it’s that subtle.
Certainly, subtlety isn’t the strong suit of director Paul Verhoeven (Robocop, Starship Troopers).
This is the kind of film where on a number of occasions, characters seduce each other with the
power of dance. The kind of film where almost all of the main characters behave in the most erratic
and over the top fashion, because that’s “drama.” The kind of film where there’s a dance-fight.
No, if advertising were honest, the tag line to this film would have been “Come for Elizabeth
Berkley's boobies, stay for everyone else’s boobies.” I was a tad too old for the heyday of “Saved By
The Bell,” so I came into this movie lacking the crucial Jessie fetish that was so obviously used to
sell the film. So for me, Berkley is merely a barely competent actress who is nowhere near as hot
as I’m supposed to think she is.
 |
It takes a whole five minutes for Berkley’s Nomi to pull a switchblade on the guy who picked her up
hitchhiking, score big on a slot machine, get propositioned by a random tourist, have all her
worldly possessions stolen, meet her band new black BFF and annoy the living crap out of me.
Nomi behaves like a feral cat throughout the film -- making for a very, very long movie.
Nomi has come to Las Vegas to be a dancer. There are a number of problems with this plan:
Oh, we’re not meant to think that Nomi is a terrible dancer – certainly, all of the other characters
think she’s a remarkable talent – but she dances like an angry epileptic. I don’t know if the
choreographer is to blame or it’s just Elizabeth Berkley’s natural dance style, and I don’t care. All I
can tell you is that in a film about a dancer trying to find her way in Vegas, it’s particularly
hitchhiking, score big on a slot machine, get propositioned by a random tourist, have all her
worldly possessions stolen, meet her band new black BFF and annoy the living crap out of me.
Nomi behaves like a feral cat throughout the film -- making for a very, very long movie.
Nomi has come to Las Vegas to be a dancer. There are a number of problems with this plan:
- Nomi has a gigantic, unjustified chip on her shoulder;
- Nomi aspires to dance in the kind of contemporary performance art that routinely leaves
me scratching my head when I see it on “So You Think You Can Dance”; and - Nomi is a terrible dancer.
Oh, we’re not meant to think that Nomi is a terrible dancer – certainly, all of the other characters
think she’s a remarkable talent – but she dances like an angry epileptic. I don’t know if the
choreographer is to blame or it’s just Elizabeth Berkley’s natural dance style, and I don’t care. All I
can tell you is that in a film about a dancer trying to find her way in Vegas, it’s particularly
Every now and then, Nolahn will take a break from
reviewing crappy films no one has ever heard of to review
spectacularly bad films that everyone has heard of. Brace
yourself for another installment of...
CRAP OF THE TITANS!
reviewing crappy films no one has ever heard of to review
spectacularly bad films that everyone has heard of. Brace
yourself for another installment of...
CRAP OF THE TITANS!
| I must be getting old, because I find this not so much "sexy" as "unhealthy." |
| FUN FACT: Since 1995, Glenn Plumber (Unnamed Black Guy/"James Smith") has played a disproportionate number of characters named James or Jimmy. Other character names include Cutty, Cooly, Curly, Chico, T-Dog, Top Dog, High Top, Tigo Loc, Ice and Squirrel. |
unfortunate if the audience starts cracking up
every time that dancer rips out some of her “raw”
and “amazing” dance moves.
Among those who think Nomi is
amazing/raw/incredibly sexy are Kyle
MacLachlan’s incredibly bland Entertainment
Director (though he gets style points for not
cracking up during the scene where Nomi rides
him in his pool), one of the Fratelli brothers as a
strip club owner with a heart of gol- eh, copper
and Unnamed Black Guy.
Poor Unnamed Black Guy -- he’s listed as
“James Smith,” but I never heard his name in the
film. Nomi gets him fired from two jobs, but
because Unnamed Black Guy had formal dance
training in New York, he sees Nomi’s “talent”
and wants to help her. I think he's supposed to
represent “keeping’ it real,” which makes his fate
both extra sad and extra hilarious.
every time that dancer rips out some of her “raw”
and “amazing” dance moves.
Among those who think Nomi is
amazing/raw/incredibly sexy are Kyle
MacLachlan’s incredibly bland Entertainment
Director (though he gets style points for not
cracking up during the scene where Nomi rides
him in his pool), one of the Fratelli brothers as a
strip club owner with a heart of gol- eh, copper
and Unnamed Black Guy.
Poor Unnamed Black Guy -- he’s listed as
“James Smith,” but I never heard his name in the
film. Nomi gets him fired from two jobs, but
because Unnamed Black Guy had formal dance
training in New York, he sees Nomi’s “talent”
and wants to help her. I think he's supposed to
represent “keeping’ it real,” which makes his fate
both extra sad and extra hilarious.
Also riding the amazing/raw/sexy Nomi train is Gina Gershon’s Crystal, the star of the big-deal
dance revue in town. With Crystal “getting older” (i.e., over the age of 28), she takes sport in
dance revue in town. With Crystal “getting older” (i.e., over the age of 28), she takes sport in
becoming her frenemy and messing with Nomi’s head
-- made all the easier with Nomi’s hair trigger temper.
Gershon plays Crystal like a comic book super villain
and has plenty of topless scenes herself. Needless to
say, she is by far the best part of the movie.
Ultimately, the film plays like a 1990s-era fairy tale, and
a really crappy one at that. Much like the ‘90s,
Showgirls is nowhere near as witty or sexy as it thinks it
is, leading to lots in unintentional comedy. Per the rules
of the decade, Nomi even has her own catchphrase: “It
doesn’t suck.”
Oh yes it does, Nomi. Yes, it does.
-- made all the easier with Nomi’s hair trigger temper.
Gershon plays Crystal like a comic book super villain
and has plenty of topless scenes herself. Needless to
say, she is by far the best part of the movie.
Ultimately, the film plays like a 1990s-era fairy tale, and
a really crappy one at that. Much like the ‘90s,
Showgirls is nowhere near as witty or sexy as it thinks it
is, leading to lots in unintentional comedy. Per the rules
of the decade, Nomi even has her own catchphrase: “It
doesn’t suck.”
Oh yes it does, Nomi. Yes, it does.
| This photo of Gina Gershon is far sexier than anything in Showgirls. |
| '10 Binnie Winner! |