ALL TOO SHOCKING
Loving the unloved.
BACK to the beginning
Loving the unloved.
BACK to the beginning
#3: PAYCHECK (2003)
In a Nutshell: In the near future, Ben Affleck is a reverse
engineer who has the memory of his work erased at the
completion of each contract. After completing the biggest job
of his life, Ben Affleck discovers that he gave up hundreds of
millions of dollars for an envelope full of random stuff -- and he
can't remember why! Now he must run around while stuff
blows up and try to figure out what is going on!
Why It's Unloved: Partially because of the lackluster title.
Partially because of the terrible haircut Uma Thurman sports in
the film. But largely because of our great nation's unqualified
hatred of Ben Affleck.
Why I Love It: It's a clever film. It's fun. It has Paul Giamatti
In a Nutshell: In the near future, Ben Affleck is a reverse
engineer who has the memory of his work erased at the
completion of each contract. After completing the biggest job
of his life, Ben Affleck discovers that he gave up hundreds of
millions of dollars for an envelope full of random stuff -- and he
can't remember why! Now he must run around while stuff
blows up and try to figure out what is going on!
Why It's Unloved: Partially because of the lackluster title.
Partially because of the terrible haircut Uma Thurman sports in
the film. But largely because of our great nation's unqualified
hatred of Ben Affleck.
Why I Love It: It's a clever film. It's fun. It has Paul Giamatti
in a thankless role as the sloppy sidekick. And it's not a million hours long and stuffed with
pointless action sequences of no consequence (I'm looking at you, Pirates of the Caribbean
trilogy). And by the way, there's absolutely nothing wrong with Ben Affleck. How's that for a bold
statement? No, he's not De Niro -- only De Niro is De Niro -- but he's a perfectly good actor. So
don't blame him for the horrible stench of Jennifer Lopez's desperation for publicity that rubbed off
on him while... well, say no more.
What To Watch For: All the ways those items in the envelope get used.
pointless action sequences of no consequence (I'm looking at you, Pirates of the Caribbean
trilogy). And by the way, there's absolutely nothing wrong with Ben Affleck. How's that for a bold
statement? No, he's not De Niro -- only De Niro is De Niro -- but he's a perfectly good actor. So
don't blame him for the horrible stench of Jennifer Lopez's desperation for publicity that rubbed off
on him while... well, say no more.
What To Watch For: All the ways those items in the envelope get used.
#2: ABOUT A BOY (2002)
In a Nutshell: Hugh Grant is a rich, irresponsible Londoner
who becomes friends with an awkward 12-year-ol-- Yes, I
really do like this movie! Shut up!
Why It's Unloved: It stars Hugh Grant. The title is both stupid
and a bit suggestive in all the wrong ways. The very lovely
Rachel Weisz is also in the movie, but only for a couple
scenes. Also, the movie stars Hugh Grant.
Why I Love It: If there's anything this movie does well, it's turn
its weaknesses into strengths. Hate Hugh Grant? In this film,
Grant plays a complete douche. And he's really good at it. Are
you assuming that he'll end up with the kid's mother (played by
the most excellent Toni Collette)? WRONG! This movie is far
smarter than it should be.
In a Nutshell: Hugh Grant is a rich, irresponsible Londoner
who becomes friends with an awkward 12-year-ol-- Yes, I
really do like this movie! Shut up!
Why It's Unloved: It stars Hugh Grant. The title is both stupid
and a bit suggestive in all the wrong ways. The very lovely
Rachel Weisz is also in the movie, but only for a couple
scenes. Also, the movie stars Hugh Grant.
Why I Love It: If there's anything this movie does well, it's turn
its weaknesses into strengths. Hate Hugh Grant? In this film,
Grant plays a complete douche. And he's really good at it. Are
you assuming that he'll end up with the kid's mother (played by
the most excellent Toni Collette)? WRONG! This movie is far
smarter than it should be.
What To Watch For: The top-shelf douchebaggery of Hugh Grant's interior monologue.
#1: UNDERCOVER BROTHER
(2002)
In a Nutshell: Eddie Griffin is a secret agent who defends the
African-American way in a never-ending battle against The
Man. And -- Sweet Christmas! -- he is FUNKY.
Why It's Unloved: Eddie Griffin isn't exactly a household name,
is he? The film co-stars Chris Kattan -- that doesn't help.
Denise Richards appears in the film, but does not go topless.
Dave Chappell is also in the movie... but this is a full year
before Chappell's Show appeared on Comedy Central. And I
somehow doubt a comedy playing off '70s blaxploitation flicks
had much appeal to suburban teens.
Why I Love It: Cuz this movie is DA BOMB. Eddie Griffin may
be best known as "The One Who Wasn't Theo Huxtable" from
Malcolm & Eddie (and appearing in such films as Scary Movie
3, Norbit and Deuce Bigelow: European Gigolo isn't doing him
any favors), but the guy is seriously funny. While not flawless,
the movie works as a spoof of both blaxploitation movies and
James Bond movies, AND offers up a fair bit of racial satire to
boot. The soundtrack -- featuring such legends as Parliament,
James Brown, Bootsy Collins and Earth, Wind and Fire --
absolutely hammers.
In short, any movie that essentially plays as a giant valentine to
Jim Kelly (no, not the former Buffalo Bills QB), is always good
with me. I'll take Black Belt Jones over Chuck Norris any day of
the week.
What To Watch For: Casting a pre-Barney Neil Patrick Harris
as Lance, an intern who landed a position at the
African-American covert agency due to Affirmative Action, was a
brilliant bit of casting. And of all the gadgets featured, my
favorite has to be the wristwatch that squirts hot sauce. I want
one of those!
(2002)
In a Nutshell: Eddie Griffin is a secret agent who defends the
African-American way in a never-ending battle against The
Man. And -- Sweet Christmas! -- he is FUNKY.
Why It's Unloved: Eddie Griffin isn't exactly a household name,
is he? The film co-stars Chris Kattan -- that doesn't help.
Denise Richards appears in the film, but does not go topless.
Dave Chappell is also in the movie... but this is a full year
before Chappell's Show appeared on Comedy Central. And I
somehow doubt a comedy playing off '70s blaxploitation flicks
had much appeal to suburban teens.
Why I Love It: Cuz this movie is DA BOMB. Eddie Griffin may
be best known as "The One Who Wasn't Theo Huxtable" from
Malcolm & Eddie (and appearing in such films as Scary Movie
3, Norbit and Deuce Bigelow: European Gigolo isn't doing him
any favors), but the guy is seriously funny. While not flawless,
the movie works as a spoof of both blaxploitation movies and
James Bond movies, AND offers up a fair bit of racial satire to
boot. The soundtrack -- featuring such legends as Parliament,
James Brown, Bootsy Collins and Earth, Wind and Fire --
absolutely hammers.
In short, any movie that essentially plays as a giant valentine to
Jim Kelly (no, not the former Buffalo Bills QB), is always good
with me. I'll take Black Belt Jones over Chuck Norris any day of
the week.
What To Watch For: Casting a pre-Barney Neil Patrick Harris
as Lance, an intern who landed a position at the
African-American covert agency due to Affirmative Action, was a
brilliant bit of casting. And of all the gadgets featured, my
favorite has to be the wristwatch that squirts hot sauce. I want
one of those!
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