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THE ADVENTURES OF PLUTO NASH
* * (2002, 95 minutes, Rated PG-13)
Adventures in Wasting Money
IN A HURRY? CHECK OUT OUR MINI-REVIEW IN THE UTICA OBSERVER-DISPATCH!
This film made a lot of "Top 10 Worst Movies of the Decade" lists. In fact, Yahoo! called this out as
the Biggest Flop of the Decade. And while it's true that this film had the largest financial loss of
any movie ever made, Yahoo! hasn't seen the movies I've seen.
* * (2002, 95 minutes, Rated PG-13)
Adventures in Wasting Money
IN A HURRY? CHECK OUT OUR MINI-REVIEW IN THE UTICA OBSERVER-DISPATCH!
This film made a lot of "Top 10 Worst Movies of the Decade" lists. In fact, Yahoo! called this out as
the Biggest Flop of the Decade. And while it's true that this film had the largest financial loss of
any movie ever made, Yahoo! hasn't seen the movies I've seen.
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This isn't the worst movie of the decade. It doesn't even make my top five list. Just don't mistake
that for praise because, yes Virginia, this movie is terrible.
The film opens with a remix of "Blue Moon," which immediately had me wishing I picked a different
movie to review. Then Jay Mohr shows up in a kilt, playing an accordion. How did anyone think this
was a good idea?
that for praise because, yes Virginia, this movie is terrible.
The film opens with a remix of "Blue Moon," which immediately had me wishing I picked a different
movie to review. Then Jay Mohr shows up in a kilt, playing an accordion. How did anyone think this
was a good idea?
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Every now and then, we take a break from reviewing crappy
films no one has ever heard of to review spectacularly bad
films that everyone has heard of. Brace yourself for another
installment of...
CRAP OF THE TITANS!
films no one has ever heard of to review spectacularly bad
films that everyone has heard of. Brace yourself for another
installment of...
CRAP OF THE TITANS!
| Yahoo! hated this movie. |
| (above) Reaction shot of the audience five minutes into The Adventures of Pluto Nash. |
Paulie from Rocky shows up to pour
battery acid down Jay Mohr's throat,
much to my delight. Unfortunately,
Eddie Murphy talks him out of it.
Eddie Murphy IS Pluto Nash, a
smuggler ex-con turned nightclub
owner when he takes on Jay Mohr's
mafia debt. And successfully, too, for
seven years later, Nash's club is THE
place to be -- you can tell by all the
"Jetson"-like hipsters having epileptic
fits on the dance floor. Club Pluto is
such the place to be, Joe "Doesn't
Deserve To Be In This Movie"
Pantoliano shows up on behalf of a
casino group to move in on Nash's
club... by hook or by crook.
battery acid down Jay Mohr's throat,
much to my delight. Unfortunately,
Eddie Murphy talks him out of it.
Eddie Murphy IS Pluto Nash, a
smuggler ex-con turned nightclub
owner when he takes on Jay Mohr's
mafia debt. And successfully, too, for
seven years later, Nash's club is THE
place to be -- you can tell by all the
"Jetson"-like hipsters having epileptic
fits on the dance floor. Club Pluto is
such the place to be, Joe "Doesn't
Deserve To Be In This Movie"
Pantoliano shows up on behalf of a
casino group to move in on Nash's
club... by hook or by crook.
And so: Action! Running! Shooting! The hitmen are stunningly incompetent in The Future, as they
fire off hundreds of shots and all fail to even hit... a super-spy? A ninja? No, a nightclub owner.
Pluto Nash goes on the run with an aspiring singer (Rosario Dawson) and his obsolete robot (an
extra creepy Randy Quaid), and... aw, who cares.
You might think that this is where I start taking pot shots at the cast, but it's not fair to blame this
mess on them. In fact, the cast is (depressingly) impressive: joining Joe Pantoliano in supporting
duty is Luiz Guzman, John Cleese, Pam Grier, Illeana Douglas, James Rebhorn and Peter Boyle --
all actors I enjoy seeing and wish I'd seen in some other movie. As for the stars, Eddie Murphy
tries valiantly to Axel Foley his way through the film, but it doesn't fly. It's a testament to Rosario
Dawson's talents that she emerges from this film with her career unscathed.
fire off hundreds of shots and all fail to even hit... a super-spy? A ninja? No, a nightclub owner.
Pluto Nash goes on the run with an aspiring singer (Rosario Dawson) and his obsolete robot (an
extra creepy Randy Quaid), and... aw, who cares.
You might think that this is where I start taking pot shots at the cast, but it's not fair to blame this
mess on them. In fact, the cast is (depressingly) impressive: joining Joe Pantoliano in supporting
duty is Luiz Guzman, John Cleese, Pam Grier, Illeana Douglas, James Rebhorn and Peter Boyle --
all actors I enjoy seeing and wish I'd seen in some other movie. As for the stars, Eddie Murphy
tries valiantly to Axel Foley his way through the film, but it doesn't fly. It's a testament to Rosario
Dawson's talents that she emerges from this film with her career unscathed.
| And no, I wasn't being dirty when I was referring to Rosario Dawson's "talents." |
As for Randy Quaid... I think his career might be
immune to scathing. I don't know if I mean that as
a complement or an insult.
No, the primary problem with the film is that it tries
to be a SciFi-Action-Comedy and fails on all three
counts.
As a comedy, the jokes are tired and very few land
-- there's nothing here you haven't seen before,
done better. As an actioner, the action is far too
whimsical and lacks any sense of danger,
completely robbing those scenes of any
suspense.
As for the SciFi...ugh.
This might be the most artificial looking science
fiction movie I've ever seen, doubly insulting when
you consider the $100 million spent making this
film (and that fact that I've seen Plan 9 From Outer
Space). It's an art direction nightmare: How can
you have a film set on the moon with flying cars
and laser guns, yet mobsters still look like they
immune to scathing. I don't know if I mean that as
a complement or an insult.
No, the primary problem with the film is that it tries
to be a SciFi-Action-Comedy and fails on all three
counts.
As a comedy, the jokes are tired and very few land
-- there's nothing here you haven't seen before,
done better. As an actioner, the action is far too
whimsical and lacks any sense of danger,
completely robbing those scenes of any
suspense.
As for the SciFi...ugh.
This might be the most artificial looking science
fiction movie I've ever seen, doubly insulting when
you consider the $100 million spent making this
film (and that fact that I've seen Plan 9 From Outer
Space). It's an art direction nightmare: How can
you have a film set on the moon with flying cars
and laser guns, yet mobsters still look like they
just walked off the set of Goodfellas. The Future looks like the '80s version of The Future, which
would have been acceptable if the film was made in 1982 rather than 2002.
You might be thinking right now: Wow, I've never read a review that focused so much on the look of
the movie. That's because you're not supposed to notice these things. Fail!
would have been acceptable if the film was made in 1982 rather than 2002.
You might be thinking right now: Wow, I've never read a review that focused so much on the look of
the movie. That's because you're not supposed to notice these things. Fail!
| We'd asked Ms. Dawson to wear a "Bargain Bin Review" tank top for this pic, but she politely declined. |
| '10 Binnie Winner! |