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THE PAUL LYNDE HALLOWEEN SPECIAL
(1976, 50 minutes, Unrated)
A rundown of the best Halloween special 1976 had to offer.
For the uninitiated, Paul Lynde was a popular character actor in the ‘60s and ‘70s, appearing in the
Broadway and film versions of Bye Bye Birdie and as Uncle Arthur on TV’s “Bewitched.” Paul
Lynde then served as the long-time center square on “Hollywood Squares,” making the show a hit.
Paul Lynde later did the voice for Templeton in the animated version of Charlotte’s Web.
(1976, 50 minutes, Unrated)
A rundown of the best Halloween special 1976 had to offer.
For the uninitiated, Paul Lynde was a popular character actor in the ‘60s and ‘70s, appearing in the
Broadway and film versions of Bye Bye Birdie and as Uncle Arthur on TV’s “Bewitched.” Paul
Lynde then served as the long-time center square on “Hollywood Squares,” making the show a hit.
Paul Lynde later did the voice for Templeton in the animated version of Charlotte’s Web.
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Paul Lynde was eight kinds of awesome.
“The Paul Lynde Halloween Special” aired on October 29,
1976, and wasn’t seen again for another 30 years. I don’t
know why – how much research do you think I do on these
pieces? I do know that this Halloween Special is very
different, and sometimes during the onslaught of canned
Halloween horror stuff, different is what I’m looking for.
We open with Paul Lynde dressed up as Santa, trimming a
tree in an obviously studio-set living room. His prim
housekeeper, Margaret, interrupts his fun to tell him that it's
not Christmas. Then we see Paul Lynde in a giant bunny
suit, and doesn’t this guy own a calendar? Long story
“The Paul Lynde Halloween Special” aired on October 29,
1976, and wasn’t seen again for another 30 years. I don’t
know why – how much research do you think I do on these
pieces? I do know that this Halloween Special is very
different, and sometimes during the onslaught of canned
Halloween horror stuff, different is what I’m looking for.
We open with Paul Lynde dressed up as Santa, trimming a
tree in an obviously studio-set living room. His prim
housekeeper, Margaret, interrupts his fun to tell him that it's
not Christmas. Then we see Paul Lynde in a giant bunny
suit, and doesn’t this guy own a calendar? Long story
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| Only in the '70s would this guy be a star. Thank you, '70s! |
short, he’s trying to avoid Halloween. It’s a lame gag, but Paul Lynde’s nasal, flamboyant delivery
makes it work.
Lynde then transitions to a stand-up routine about Halloween. It’s… okay. Strangely, the canned
laughter makes the bit come off less funny than it is. The bit eventually evolves into a musical
number, a Halloweeny take on the song “Kids” from Bye Bye Birdie. The number, inexplicably,
involves a number of dancing devils. “Too much Alice Cooper, not enough Alice Fay,” Lynde
complains.
Then Donnie and Marie Osmond stuff Paul Lynde into a garbage can. Which explodes. And the
audience loves it. I swear, I had a nightmare just like that the other night.
makes it work.
Lynde then transitions to a stand-up routine about Halloween. It’s… okay. Strangely, the canned
laughter makes the bit come off less funny than it is. The bit eventually evolves into a musical
number, a Halloweeny take on the song “Kids” from Bye Bye Birdie. The number, inexplicably,
involves a number of dancing devils. “Too much Alice Cooper, not enough Alice Fay,” Lynde
complains.
Then Donnie and Marie Osmond stuff Paul Lynde into a garbage can. Which explodes. And the
audience loves it. I swear, I had a nightmare just like that the other night.
| They'll haunt your dreams... |
To avoid any further kid pranks, Paul Lynde goes off with
his housekeeper to her sister’s place. Turns out her
sister is a witch – a real one. And the housekeeper? Is
the Witch of the Frickin’ West. The real one! They’ve lured
Paul Lynde to their place to have him help “soften their
image.”
To underscore their point, Betty White teleports in as “Miss
Halloween 1976.” Damn, she really is everywhere these
days! Bitterly disappointed that the witches nabbed Paul
Lynde and not Paul Newman, she leaves. No idea of
what that was all about.
Anyway, in exchange for helping to soften their image, the
witches agree to grant Paul Lynde three wishes. This
should be good.
Wish #1: Be a Trucker. Holy crap! I used to wish this, too!
his housekeeper to her sister’s place. Turns out her
sister is a witch – a real one. And the housekeeper? Is
the Witch of the Frickin’ West. The real one! They’ve lured
Paul Lynde to their place to have him help “soften their
image.”
To underscore their point, Betty White teleports in as “Miss
Halloween 1976.” Damn, she really is everywhere these
days! Bitterly disappointed that the witches nabbed Paul
Lynde and not Paul Newman, she leaves. No idea of
what that was all about.
Anyway, in exchange for helping to soften their image, the
witches agree to grant Paul Lynde three wishes. This
should be good.
Wish #1: Be a Trucker. Holy crap! I used to wish this, too!
I’d escape my day job for the open road, making surprise deliveries to people. And when I’m told,
“But I didn’t order that,” I’d simply reply, “Well, according to my clipboard, this goes to you.” I’d be
like an 18-wheeled Santa Clause.
“But I didn’t order that,” I’d simply reply, “Well, according to my clipboard, this goes to you.” I’d be
like an 18-wheeled Santa Clause.
| Someday. |
What Paul Lynde has in mind something
more rhinestone-covered and involves an
awesome carpet of fake chest hair. I can
respect that. He engages in some trucker
talk with Tim Conway, and then the two
fight over the chick who played Fonzie’s
girlfriend on “Happy Days.” It all ends in a
cheesy musical number, which is starting
to turn into a disturbing trend.
When Paul Lynde returns from Wish #1,
the witches treat him to some chamber
music in the form of KISS. YES!! Bootleg
copies of this TV special have floated
more rhinestone-covered and involves an
awesome carpet of fake chest hair. I can
respect that. He engages in some trucker
talk with Tim Conway, and then the two
fight over the chick who played Fonzie’s
girlfriend on “Happy Days.” It all ends in a
cheesy musical number, which is starting
to turn into a disturbing trend.
When Paul Lynde returns from Wish #1,
the witches treat him to some chamber
music in the form of KISS. YES!! Bootleg
copies of this TV special have floated
around for years simply because this is KISS’s first TV appearance. And it’s awesome.
Paul Lynde chats with KISS for a minute, meeting Gene, Ace, Peter and Paul. "Oh, I love a good
religious group," quips Paul Lynde. Hee!
Wish #2 comes in the middle of a game of Monopoly when Paul Lynde accidentally wishes that
he was in the Sahara. Okay… It gives him an excuse to dress up like a sheik and try to seduce
Florence Henderson with “hyena wine,” which seems perfectly reasonable to me. Also: no
cheesy musical numbers.
Paul Lynde gives Wish #3 to the witches, who use it to go to “a Hollywood disco.” Oh boy.
Florence Henderson comes slinking out to sing a disco number, then KISS returns for decidedly
non-disco performances of “Beth” (always with the “Beth”!) and, awesomely, “King of the Night
Time World.”
And then it’s off to the big disco finale, with just about all of our special guests coming out to
boogie the show away. Even KISS sticks around to observe. Paul Lynde, KISS, disco, Florence
Henderson, Tim Conway… it’s like a ‘70s time capsule. Which is the best way to view this
special. It’s a wonderful snapshot of ‘70s Americana, and I’m glad that it’s not longer hidden
away but shared, as nature intended.
religious group," quips Paul Lynde. Hee!
Wish #2 comes in the middle of a game of Monopoly when Paul Lynde accidentally wishes that
he was in the Sahara. Okay… It gives him an excuse to dress up like a sheik and try to seduce
Florence Henderson with “hyena wine,” which seems perfectly reasonable to me. Also: no
cheesy musical numbers.
Paul Lynde gives Wish #3 to the witches, who use it to go to “a Hollywood disco.” Oh boy.
Florence Henderson comes slinking out to sing a disco number, then KISS returns for decidedly
non-disco performances of “Beth” (always with the “Beth”!) and, awesomely, “King of the Night
Time World.”
And then it’s off to the big disco finale, with just about all of our special guests coming out to
boogie the show away. Even KISS sticks around to observe. Paul Lynde, KISS, disco, Florence
Henderson, Tim Conway… it’s like a ‘70s time capsule. Which is the best way to view this
special. It’s a wonderful snapshot of ‘70s Americana, and I’m glad that it’s not longer hidden
away but shared, as nature intended.
| Official entry into the B-Movie Meatloaf! |