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OVER THE TOP
* * * * (1987, 93 minutes, Rated PG)
Stallone is America.
I know that in my reviews, I typically give a lot of detail about the opening moments of the film. I do
that because the opening sets the tone of the film. Also, because I'm creatively bankrupt. But
mostly because it sets the tone.
In the case of Sylvester Stallone's Over the Top, talking about the opening is almost mandatory.
Set to a swelling '80s anthem, we learn in montage that Sly is a trucker, driving through the kind of
America where every blue collar worker has nothing but the upmost pride in his or her work. This
Blue Collar Tribute is intercut with more American flags than you can shake a stick at and,
bafflingly, shots of military cadets marching.
It is, as I wrote in my notes, "THE MOST G-D AMERICAN MOVIE EVER MADE."
Seriously, this opening is only slightly less subtle than Apollo Creed's ring entrance in Rocky IV.
* * * * (1987, 93 minutes, Rated PG)
Stallone is America.
I know that in my reviews, I typically give a lot of detail about the opening moments of the film. I do
that because the opening sets the tone of the film. Also, because I'm creatively bankrupt. But
mostly because it sets the tone.
In the case of Sylvester Stallone's Over the Top, talking about the opening is almost mandatory.
Set to a swelling '80s anthem, we learn in montage that Sly is a trucker, driving through the kind of
America where every blue collar worker has nothing but the upmost pride in his or her work. This
Blue Collar Tribute is intercut with more American flags than you can shake a stick at and,
bafflingly, shots of military cadets marching.
It is, as I wrote in my notes, "THE MOST G-D AMERICAN MOVIE EVER MADE."
Seriously, this opening is only slightly less subtle than Apollo Creed's ring entrance in Rocky IV.
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This opening may have singlehandedly inspired Rupert
Murdoch to launch FOX News. After this opening, if the
movie contained a scene of Sly making out with an
American Bald Eagle, I wouldn't have been the least bit
surprised.
The only surprise is that the opening to Over the Top
wasn't set to Springsteen. Or Neil Diamond's "America."
Turns out that the cadets marching wasn't completely
accurate. Sly swings by to pick up the 12-year-old son he
never knew, per the wishes of his ailing ex-wife. Together,
the two are embark on the most awkward cross country
trip to California.
Junior is less than thrilled, and shows it by acting like a
Murdoch to launch FOX News. After this opening, if the
movie contained a scene of Sly making out with an
American Bald Eagle, I wouldn't have been the least bit
surprised.
The only surprise is that the opening to Over the Top
wasn't set to Springsteen. Or Neil Diamond's "America."
Turns out that the cadets marching wasn't completely
accurate. Sly swings by to pick up the 12-year-old son he
never knew, per the wishes of his ailing ex-wife. Together,
the two are embark on the most awkward cross country
trip to California.
Junior is less than thrilled, and shows it by acting like a
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Every now and then, Nolahn will take a break from
reviewing crappy films no one has ever heard of to review
spectacularly bad films that everyone has heard of. Brace
yourself for another installment of...
CRAP OF THE TITANS!
reviewing crappy films no one has ever heard of to review
spectacularly bad films that everyone has heard of. Brace
yourself for another installment of...
CRAP OF THE TITANS!
| Apollo Creed (above) loves America almost as much as the opening credits of Over The Top. |
complete dick at every opportunity. Look, I'm not advocating violence against children. I'm just
saying that when Junior jumps out of Sly's big rig and sprints across five lanes of traffic, I would
have been okay with him getting run over.
They eventually stop at a roadside diner, where Junior lectures Sly on the dangers of fried food,
heart disease and "cholesterol poisoning." And here is where the film gets silly: A big beefy guy
comes up to Sly and introduces himself as "The Smasher." All the other actors in the scene use
their Powers of Acting to not laugh out loud in Big Beefy's face. Turns out that Big Beefy has heard
that Sly is the one to beat when it comes to arm wrestling, and challenges him.
That's right: Sly is such a notorious arm wrestler that he's recognized by sight at random roadside
diners.
So the two arm wrestle, and unlike any arm wrestling you've ever engaged in, this is more akin to
stationary pro wrestling. Sly wins, and Junior promptly accuses him of sharking Big Beefy. Nice.
Somehow, this is the beginning of the proper bonding between Sly and Junior. The two engage in
a sunrise workout montage to the tune of Kenny Loggins' "Meet Me Halfway," which plays almost
saying that when Junior jumps out of Sly's big rig and sprints across five lanes of traffic, I would
have been okay with him getting run over.
They eventually stop at a roadside diner, where Junior lectures Sly on the dangers of fried food,
heart disease and "cholesterol poisoning." And here is where the film gets silly: A big beefy guy
comes up to Sly and introduces himself as "The Smasher." All the other actors in the scene use
their Powers of Acting to not laugh out loud in Big Beefy's face. Turns out that Big Beefy has heard
that Sly is the one to beat when it comes to arm wrestling, and challenges him.
That's right: Sly is such a notorious arm wrestler that he's recognized by sight at random roadside
diners.
So the two arm wrestle, and unlike any arm wrestling you've ever engaged in, this is more akin to
stationary pro wrestling. Sly wins, and Junior promptly accuses him of sharking Big Beefy. Nice.
Somehow, this is the beginning of the proper bonding between Sly and Junior. The two engage in
a sunrise workout montage to the tune of Kenny Loggins' "Meet Me Halfway," which plays almost
non-stop throughout the movie. Oddly, this is in direct
contradiction to the advice Sly gives Junior, that "the
world doesn't meet anyone halfway." I guess that's the
kind of attention to detail you can expect from a
family/arm wrestling drama.
And the film just gets stranger and stranger. Sly
ultimately wins Junior over by letting him drive the
truck. As a father of two, let me strong advice you to
NOT let your pre-teen drive an 18-wheeler. Sly also
throws Junior into an arm wrestling challenge with a
local tuff, which seems like a great way to nuke your
child's self-esteme. Later, there's a kidnapping scare,
because... arm wrestling?
The film also teaches us that the secret to beating
anyone at arm wrestling is to adjust your grip after a
minute. Works ever time.
contradiction to the advice Sly gives Junior, that "the
world doesn't meet anyone halfway." I guess that's the
kind of attention to detail you can expect from a
family/arm wrestling drama.
And the film just gets stranger and stranger. Sly
ultimately wins Junior over by letting him drive the
truck. As a father of two, let me strong advice you to
NOT let your pre-teen drive an 18-wheeler. Sly also
throws Junior into an arm wrestling challenge with a
local tuff, which seems like a great way to nuke your
child's self-esteme. Later, there's a kidnapping scare,
because... arm wrestling?
The film also teaches us that the secret to beating
anyone at arm wrestling is to adjust your grip after a
minute. Works ever time.
| An '80s movie just isn't an '80s movie without Kenny Loggins. |
And suddenly, Sly and Junior reach California, and the film switches from a road picture to custody
drama. Robert Loggia plays the rich grandpa who really hates the hell out of Sly and will do
anything to keep Junior away from him -- even hire hardcore icon Terry Funk as a bodyguard.
drama. Robert Loggia plays the rich grandpa who really hates the hell out of Sly and will do
anything to keep Junior away from him -- even hire hardcore icon Terry Funk as a bodyguard.
| With a long career of matches featuring ladders, thumbtacks, barbed wire and exploding rings, pro wrestling legend Terry Funk invented not giving a shit. |
Drama, drama, drama, blah, blah, blah. Logic be
damned, the film heads to Vegas where Sly decides to
sell his truck and enter into the World Series of Arm
Wrestling. Oh, he didn't have to sell his truck -- he just
wanted to place a large bet on himself. Because "Meet
Me Halfway" or whatever.
Fortunately, the grand prize includes a brand new
18-wheeler. Hmmm.
Despite being recognized by site in diners across
America as the guy to beat at arm wrestling, Sly is
considered a "newcomer" and a "long shot."
Fortunately, the tournament is double elimination,
meaning that contenders have to lose twice to be
eliminated from the competition. The announcer
explains this verbatem at least four times during the
final 20 minutes. Awesomely, Sly just beats Goliath
once in the finals and wins, the end.
Oh... uh, spoiler alert? Gimme a break.
damned, the film heads to Vegas where Sly decides to
sell his truck and enter into the World Series of Arm
Wrestling. Oh, he didn't have to sell his truck -- he just
wanted to place a large bet on himself. Because "Meet
Me Halfway" or whatever.
Fortunately, the grand prize includes a brand new
18-wheeler. Hmmm.
Despite being recognized by site in diners across
America as the guy to beat at arm wrestling, Sly is
considered a "newcomer" and a "long shot."
Fortunately, the tournament is double elimination,
meaning that contenders have to lose twice to be
eliminated from the competition. The announcer
explains this verbatem at least four times during the
final 20 minutes. Awesomely, Sly just beats Goliath
once in the finals and wins, the end.
Oh... uh, spoiler alert? Gimme a break.
You might not remember this, but there was a time when Sylvester Stallone could do no wrong.
The aptly named Over the Top helped bring an end to that time.
The aptly named Over the Top helped bring an end to that time.
Over the Top was recently featured in an episode of LAIR OF THE
UNWANTED.
If you're looking for a second opinion, see what these Friends of The 'Bin
had to say:
BADMOVIES.ORG
COOL AWESOME MOVIES
UNWANTED.
If you're looking for a second opinion, see what these Friends of The 'Bin
had to say:
BADMOVIES.ORG
COOL AWESOME MOVIES