| BBRAD-LIB (yes, that's pronounced "Brad Lib") Story Generator 2.0 Steven Seagal Edition |
Every generation has their own icon to
represent unrestrained machismo. John
Wayne beget Steve McQueen, who beget Burt
Reynolds, who beget Chuck Norris, who beget
the man who really puts the lack of restraint in
unrestrained machismo, Steven Seagal.
The way I see it, Seagal movies are like hot
dogs: They're all cheap and of questionable
quality, they're all essentially the same and yet
they're strangely satisfying.
represent unrestrained machismo. John
Wayne beget Steve McQueen, who beget Burt
Reynolds, who beget Chuck Norris, who beget
the man who really puts the lack of restraint in
unrestrained machismo, Steven Seagal.
The way I see it, Seagal movies are like hot
dogs: They're all cheap and of questionable
quality, they're all essentially the same and yet
they're strangely satisfying.
But you really don't know just how nearly identical Seagal movies are until you
read the synopsises of them back to back to back. Hell, I wouldn't be
surprised if writing the script for a Seagal movie was a common exercise in
many film schools.
So, what do you say? Let's make some hot dogs...
read the synopsises of them back to back to back. Hell, I wouldn't be
surprised if writing the script for a Seagal movie was a common exercise in
many film schools.
So, what do you say? Let's make some hot dogs...
| OF |
STEVE SEAGAL STARS AS JOHN
A EX-UNDERCOVER
AGENT AND
MASTER, WHO HAS RETIRED TO
WITH HIS TRUSTY PET
A TRANQUIL MOUNTAIN LODGE
BUT THAT PEACE IS
SHATTERED WHEN AN OLD FLAME (PLAYED BY
) ASKS JOHN TO HELP HER TAKE ON
) ASKS JOHN TO HELP HER TAKE ON
HELL-BENT
ON DESTROYING
ON DESTROYING
WHAT THE BADDIES HAVEN'T COUNTED ON IS THAT JOHN IS
AN UNSTOPPABLE FORCE THAT CANNOT BE STOPPED!
RATED R.
AN UNSTOPPABLE FORCE THAT CANNOT BE STOPPED!
RATED R.
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| Seagal, minutes before breaking the panda's neck. |
| Yes, Steven Seagal will shoot you in the face. |
If you enjoyed that, be sure to check out the
reviews of these Seagal films...
reviews of these Seagal films...
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