BARGAIN BIN REVIEW
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Reviewing the movies
no one else will touch.
no one else will touch.
GOBBLE, GOBBLE
Two incredible turkeys for the price of one!
Previous 2
Yes, I know this movie is targeted to young children and
probably didn't have much of a budget. I don't care. It's still an
abomination.
Two incredible turkeys for the price of one!
Previous 2
Yes, I know this movie is targeted to young children and
probably didn't have much of a budget. I don't care. It's still an
abomination.
GODZILLA'S REVENGE
The Clip Show of the series.
As much as I love Godzilla, watching this movie is like punching yourself repeatedly in the face. I can't
image that people in Japan paid actual money to see this in the theater -- the aisles must have been
clogged with audience members committing hara-kiri.
Here's the plot, which I'm pulling from memory and Barry's Temple of Godzilla (I'm not watching this
damned thing again -- life is too short): Ichiro, your typical short-shorts wearin' Japanese tyke, is a
latchkey kid who routinely gets his ass kicked by the local bully, Gabara. Because Ichiro has no friends,
he has imaginary conversations with Minya, the Son of Godzilla. For the purposes of this film, Minya can
shrink down to our size and talk. Handy!
Anyway, Ichiro and imaginary Minya imagine watching footage of fight scenes from -- I shit you not --
other Godzilla movies, which ultimately gives Ichiro the courage to stand up to Gabara and solidly beat
his ass. Oh, and foil some bumbling bank robbers along the way. Ichiro then grows up to become a
world-famous baseball player for the Seattle Mariners.
The Clip Show of the series.
As much as I love Godzilla, watching this movie is like punching yourself repeatedly in the face. I can't
image that people in Japan paid actual money to see this in the theater -- the aisles must have been
clogged with audience members committing hara-kiri.
Here's the plot, which I'm pulling from memory and Barry's Temple of Godzilla (I'm not watching this
damned thing again -- life is too short): Ichiro, your typical short-shorts wearin' Japanese tyke, is a
latchkey kid who routinely gets his ass kicked by the local bully, Gabara. Because Ichiro has no friends,
he has imaginary conversations with Minya, the Son of Godzilla. For the purposes of this film, Minya can
shrink down to our size and talk. Handy!
Anyway, Ichiro and imaginary Minya imagine watching footage of fight scenes from -- I shit you not --
other Godzilla movies, which ultimately gives Ichiro the courage to stand up to Gabara and solidly beat
his ass. Oh, and foil some bumbling bank robbers along the way. Ichiro then grows up to become a
world-famous baseball player for the Seattle Mariners.
Okay, so I made up the baseball part (though the part
about the bank robbers is true). But really, would that
be any more asinine than any other aspect of this
movie?
Honestly, when one sits down to watch a Godzilla
movie, one doesn't expect an intricate plot, rich
character development or high caliber acting. It's all
about the fight scenes. But if the flight scenes are
pulled entirely from past movies, then what's the
fucking point? It's not a movie... it's a CLIP SHOW.
I don't know about you, but I hold my cheesy
entertainment to a higher standard.
Back 2
about the bank robbers is true). But really, would that
be any more asinine than any other aspect of this
movie?
Honestly, when one sits down to watch a Godzilla
movie, one doesn't expect an intricate plot, rich
character development or high caliber acting. It's all
about the fight scenes. But if the flight scenes are
pulled entirely from past movies, then what's the
fucking point? It's not a movie... it's a CLIP SHOW.
I don't know about you, but I hold my cheesy
entertainment to a higher standard.
Back 2
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