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THE DAY THE EARTH STOPPED
* * (2008, 90 minutes, Unrated)
A copy of a copy of a classic.
As I've indicated above, The Day The Earth Stopped is a knock-off of the 2008 remake of The Day
The Earth Stood Still with Keanu Reeves. I haven't seen the Reeves version, mostly because I can
smell a crappy movie a mile away. But I did see the original 1951 classic,and it's always referred
to as a classic for a reason -- it's really good. Oh sure, it's slow-paced and quite dated in parts (it
was made in 1951), but it still blows the doors off anything featured on this site.
Whenever Hollywood demonstrates its creative bankruptcy by churning out remakes or
"re-imaginings" of classic films (see Planet of the Apes or Psycho) we always ask, "Why bother?"
So what does it say when a film is a knock-off of a remake of a classic that should have been left
alone?
I don't know, but I can't imagine it's something good.
* * (2008, 90 minutes, Unrated)
A copy of a copy of a classic.
As I've indicated above, The Day The Earth Stopped is a knock-off of the 2008 remake of The Day
The Earth Stood Still with Keanu Reeves. I haven't seen the Reeves version, mostly because I can
smell a crappy movie a mile away. But I did see the original 1951 classic,and it's always referred
to as a classic for a reason -- it's really good. Oh sure, it's slow-paced and quite dated in parts (it
was made in 1951), but it still blows the doors off anything featured on this site.
Whenever Hollywood demonstrates its creative bankruptcy by churning out remakes or
"re-imaginings" of classic films (see Planet of the Apes or Psycho) we always ask, "Why bother?"
So what does it say when a film is a knock-off of a remake of a classic that should have been left
alone?
I don't know, but I can't imagine it's something good.
 |
The film opens with hundreds of sloppily rendered
CGI robots approaching Earth. Clearly, the
screenwriters thought that if the giant robot in the
original was cool, then hundreds of giant robots
would be a hundred times cooler. They were wrong.
To add insult to injury, the giant robot lands in the
middle of L.A. and -- because it's L.A. -- no one
notices right away. Soon, other giant robots are
showing up in "London, France and Moscow!" and a
crack military team (including C. Thomas Howell of
The Outsiders and Red Dawn fame) is setting up
shop in an abandoned warehouse in L.A. Because
L.A. doesn't have a military base, I guess.
Also landing in the Los Angeles area is a wee little
CGI robots approaching Earth. Clearly, the
screenwriters thought that if the giant robot in the
original was cool, then hundreds of giant robots
would be a hundred times cooler. They were wrong.
To add insult to injury, the giant robot lands in the
middle of L.A. and -- because it's L.A. -- no one
notices right away. Soon, other giant robots are
showing up in "London, France and Moscow!" and a
crack military team (including C. Thomas Howell of
The Outsiders and Red Dawn fame) is setting up
shop in an abandoned warehouse in L.A. Because
L.A. doesn't have a military base, I guess.
Also landing in the Los Angeles area is a wee little
| Gort (above) is way cooler than anything in this film. |
probe piloted by a hot naked lady. Look, I get that Ahnold set the precedent for naked sci-fi travel in
The Terminator, but who pilots a spaceship in their birthday suit? Not that I'm complaining. The
hot naked spacelady stumbles around in all her naked glory until C. Thomas Howell and his
Overactive Bladder-suffering partner find her. C. Thomas Howell gives the hot naked spacelady
his jacket, and the film goes downhill from there.
I mean, even if you've never seen the original The Day The Earth Stood Still (and you outta), you
probably know the basic plot: Aliens send down Klaatu/Keanu Reeves/the hot naked spacelady to
find some redeeming value to our civilization, otherwise the aliens will move on with the
scheduled demolition of Earth because we human beings are found to be a bunch of primitive,
destructive a-holes (I don't think anyone in any version of this story debates that last part).
The military follows its traditional "shoot first/ask questions later" model, complete with the moral
wrangling over whether or not to go nuclear. Per usual, all this does is give the aliens an excuse
to melt the Eiffel Tower.
The Terminator, but who pilots a spaceship in their birthday suit? Not that I'm complaining. The
hot naked spacelady stumbles around in all her naked glory until C. Thomas Howell and his
Overactive Bladder-suffering partner find her. C. Thomas Howell gives the hot naked spacelady
his jacket, and the film goes downhill from there.
I mean, even if you've never seen the original The Day The Earth Stood Still (and you outta), you
probably know the basic plot: Aliens send down Klaatu/Keanu Reeves/the hot naked spacelady to
find some redeeming value to our civilization, otherwise the aliens will move on with the
scheduled demolition of Earth because we human beings are found to be a bunch of primitive,
destructive a-holes (I don't think anyone in any version of this story debates that last part).
The military follows its traditional "shoot first/ask questions later" model, complete with the moral
wrangling over whether or not to go nuclear. Per usual, all this does is give the aliens an excuse
to melt the Eiffel Tower.
| Eat it, Eiffel Tower! |
Believe it or not, there is an interesting take on this story here: The idea that the alien seeking "the
value of human life" has chosen C. Thomas Howell's career soldier to show her. There's a nice
desperation in C-Thom's character, a guy with no life outside of the Army: "Want to know about a
9mm? I'm your guy" he tells her. It's a compelling concept, and sadly, one that's underused.
value of human life" has chosen C. Thomas Howell's career soldier to show her. There's a nice
desperation in C-Thom's character, a guy with no life outside of the Army: "Want to know about a
9mm? I'm your guy" he tells her. It's a compelling concept, and sadly, one that's underused.
| Judd Nelson (above) appears just long enough to let people know he's still alive. |
Because there are poorly staged shoot-outs to be had! And car
chases to be slowly run through the strangely empty streets of
L.A.! And a cameo by Judd Nelson to feature!
Yes, in what might win the award for the Worst Use of a Brat
Packer in a Cameo Role, Judd Nelson puts in about five
minutes of screen time as Guy Whose Wife Is Giving Birth In
The Middle Of The Street. Apparently, Judd Nelson owed
C-Thom a favor.
It's all quite exhausting (C-Thom must've been exhausted, too --
he also directed the film) and not very interesting. By the end of
the film, somewhere between the Michael Bay-esque
destruction porn and the birth of a completely clean
three-month-old baby, I had this thought:
If the filmmakers had any clue about the value to human life,
they wouldn't have expected people to sit through this film.
chases to be slowly run through the strangely empty streets of
L.A.! And a cameo by Judd Nelson to feature!
Yes, in what might win the award for the Worst Use of a Brat
Packer in a Cameo Role, Judd Nelson puts in about five
minutes of screen time as Guy Whose Wife Is Giving Birth In
The Middle Of The Street. Apparently, Judd Nelson owed
C-Thom a favor.
It's all quite exhausting (C-Thom must've been exhausted, too --
he also directed the film) and not very interesting. By the end of
the film, somewhere between the Michael Bay-esque
destruction porn and the birth of a completely clean
three-month-old baby, I had this thought:
If the filmmakers had any clue about the value to human life,
they wouldn't have expected people to sit through this film.
If you enjoyed this review -- and who didn't? --
then be sure to check out some of the other
mockbusters reviewed here at The 'Bin:
then be sure to check out some of the other
mockbusters reviewed here at The 'Bin:
