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THE SPECIALS
* * * (2000, 82 minutes, Rated R)
In which superheroes get a special education.
Yeah, that's right: Let's get the special ed. cracks out of the way now. The filmmakers clearly
wanted the audience to be thinking these characters were the short bus riders of the superhero
community, so it doesn't feel entirely like a cheap shot.
This is the story of The Specials, "the 6th or 7th greatest superhero team" in the world. Yes, it is a
superhero comedy. In a rather promising line at the start of the movie, one character describes
The Specials as the Winger of superhero teams.
* * * (2000, 82 minutes, Rated R)
In which superheroes get a special education.
Yeah, that's right: Let's get the special ed. cracks out of the way now. The filmmakers clearly
wanted the audience to be thinking these characters were the short bus riders of the superhero
community, so it doesn't feel entirely like a cheap shot.
This is the story of The Specials, "the 6th or 7th greatest superhero team" in the world. Yes, it is a
superhero comedy. In a rather promising line at the start of the movie, one character describes
The Specials as the Winger of superhero teams.
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If only the line wasn't delivered in a "Real
World"-style talking head interview segment. Just
like another superhero feature that's been reviewed
here.
The Winger fan is Nightbird (Cabin Fever's Jordan
Ladd), the newest member of The Specials. Go
ahead and think of her as the Kitty Pryde of the
team. We follow her on her first day with the team
at their McMansion headquarters in the suburbs of
Los Angeles. Turns out The Specials are just like
the X-Men, but without the racial allegories or the
financing. The team is headed up by:
World"-style talking head interview segment. Just
like another superhero feature that's been reviewed
here.
The Winger fan is Nightbird (Cabin Fever's Jordan
Ladd), the newest member of The Specials. Go
ahead and think of her as the Kitty Pryde of the
team. We follow her on her first day with the team
at their McMansion headquarters in the suburbs of
Los Angeles. Turns out The Specials are just like
the X-Men, but without the racial allegories or the
financing. The team is headed up by:
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| Jordan Ladd plays Winger fan Nightbird, the Kitty Pryde of The Specials. |
- The Strobe (the Cyclops of the team, played by Thomas Haden Church), the all-business
leader - The Weevil (Rob Lowe as the Wolverine of the team, if Wolverine behaved like he was Rob
Lowe), the most popular team member who has the "super agility of a weevil" - Amok (Jamie Kennedy, all in blue a la Nightcrawler), the reformed villain
- Deadly Girl (a gothed out Judy Greer)
- Minute Man (that's "minute" as in small, not the measurement of time, played by Slither
creator James Gunn, who also wrote this film), The Strobe's brother who, like all shrinking
superheroes, is insecure over the relative lameness of his shrinking powers
So the film doesn't lack for talent. Unfortunately, the film never really clicks. The Specials spend
all their time bickering over procedures, bogged down in talks for their own toy line and focusing
on their own romantic entanglements and petty egos, and the film ends up being that exciting.
Thomas Haden Church suffers the most here -- he's called to play a stick-in-the-mud and does in
fact come off as a stick-in-the-mud.
That's not to say the film is a complete loss. There are some good moments here -- I can't tell you
how much I wish the TV spot of The Specials' pending toy line or the team's cheese promotional
video was on YouTube -- and a number of good lines. Jaime Kennedy's foul-mouthed Amok gets
quite a few of these, with "Nobody wants to hear your boring fucking origin story!" being something
every fanboy has wanted to shout at some point.
all their time bickering over procedures, bogged down in talks for their own toy line and focusing
on their own romantic entanglements and petty egos, and the film ends up being that exciting.
Thomas Haden Church suffers the most here -- he's called to play a stick-in-the-mud and does in
fact come off as a stick-in-the-mud.
That's not to say the film is a complete loss. There are some good moments here -- I can't tell you
how much I wish the TV spot of The Specials' pending toy line or the team's cheese promotional
video was on YouTube -- and a number of good lines. Jaime Kennedy's foul-mouthed Amok gets
quite a few of these, with "Nobody wants to hear your boring fucking origin story!" being something
every fanboy has wanted to shout at some point.
| Jaime Kennedy is the blue one. |
"Want to see the furnace?... It's hot. Don't press your face against it for too long or you get red
streaks on you for, like, a month."
"Can you spell 'guest'? It has a 'U' in it!"
Sadly, a number of funny lines and moments does not make for a good comedy. Some of the
characters, like the shape-shifting mentally challenged Alien Orphan, don't work. I know it wasn't
the case when the film was made, but the talking head interview format is tired beyond belief. The
film spends a great deal of time on the "superhero as a job path" angle, yet still feels like a
half-baked (and unfunny) concept -- Mystery Men did a much better job with the concept in a
fraction of the time. There's a big dance scene near the end that's meant to be whimsical and
uplifting, and fails on both counts.
And given the complete lack of superhero action, this needed to be a good comedy.
Oh, I didn't mention that part? When The Specials finally get a distress call about giant ants
attacking the Pentagon, each of our heroes gets a moment to run out of the McMansion and strut
some CGI of varying quality before striking a group pose.
streaks on you for, like, a month."
"Can you spell 'guest'? It has a 'U' in it!"
Sadly, a number of funny lines and moments does not make for a good comedy. Some of the
characters, like the shape-shifting mentally challenged Alien Orphan, don't work. I know it wasn't
the case when the film was made, but the talking head interview format is tired beyond belief. The
film spends a great deal of time on the "superhero as a job path" angle, yet still feels like a
half-baked (and unfunny) concept -- Mystery Men did a much better job with the concept in a
fraction of the time. There's a big dance scene near the end that's meant to be whimsical and
uplifting, and fails on both counts.
And given the complete lack of superhero action, this needed to be a good comedy.
Oh, I didn't mention that part? When The Specials finally get a distress call about giant ants
attacking the Pentagon, each of our heroes gets a moment to run out of the McMansion and strut
some CGI of varying quality before striking a group pose.
But it's U.S. Bill who steals the show. In a
relatively small part by Mike Schwartz
(Lloyd on "Scrubs"), U.S. Bill is as
super-moronic as he is super-strong, and
Schwartz nails it. Nails it. Acting stupid is
a lot harder than it looks, and I haven't
seen stupid done so well since Dumb and
Dumber. U.S. Bill provides the most
awesomely awkward moments of the film,
such as:
"Some things have flavors that taste good
on your tongue!"
relatively small part by Mike Schwartz
(Lloyd on "Scrubs"), U.S. Bill is as
super-moronic as he is super-strong, and
Schwartz nails it. Nails it. Acting stupid is
a lot harder than it looks, and I haven't
seen stupid done so well since Dumb and
Dumber. U.S. Bill provides the most
awesomely awkward moments of the film,
such as:
"Some things have flavors that taste good
on your tongue!"
| Like this. |
And then... credits.
I guess that makes The Specials the 6th or 7th greatest superhero spoof of the past decade.
I guess that makes The Specials the 6th or 7th greatest superhero spoof of the past decade.