SASQUATCH HUNTERS
* * * (2005, 88 minutes, Rated R)
Apparently sponsored by the Sierra Club.
I was on the fence about this movie. Would it be as bad as I hoped? But when the Good Ol'
Boys showed up in the opening scene, hunting with 9mm pistols, I knew I had a winner.
Plot-wise, the movie is pretty standard: A group of cookie-cutter college students and greenhorn
forest rangers, led by the Aqua Velva Man (no, not that one), go on a four-day hike in the
wilderness to look for the site of some unidentified fossils. When the group finds those fossils
in what looks suspiciously like a Sasquatch sacred burial site, a tall guy in ape suit starts
hunting them down.
Know what that means? There are no actual Sasquatch Hunters in this film! Talk about false
advertising.
Here's what there is a lot of: Hiking. Scene after scene after scene of hiking through the woods
-- there's a drinking game in there somewhere. These scenes usually contain bits of "character
development" drowned out by the MAJESTIC SCORE!! BEHOLD OUR GREAT NATION'S
BEAUTIOUS BOUNTY OF NATURE!! GLORIOUS!!! Yeah, that gets old, too.
* * * (2005, 88 minutes, Rated R)
Apparently sponsored by the Sierra Club.
I was on the fence about this movie. Would it be as bad as I hoped? But when the Good Ol'
Boys showed up in the opening scene, hunting with 9mm pistols, I knew I had a winner.
Plot-wise, the movie is pretty standard: A group of cookie-cutter college students and greenhorn
forest rangers, led by the Aqua Velva Man (no, not that one), go on a four-day hike in the
wilderness to look for the site of some unidentified fossils. When the group finds those fossils
in what looks suspiciously like a Sasquatch sacred burial site, a tall guy in ape suit starts
hunting them down.
Know what that means? There are no actual Sasquatch Hunters in this film! Talk about false
advertising.
Here's what there is a lot of: Hiking. Scene after scene after scene of hiking through the woods
-- there's a drinking game in there somewhere. These scenes usually contain bits of "character
development" drowned out by the MAJESTIC SCORE!! BEHOLD OUR GREAT NATION'S
BEAUTIOUS BOUNTY OF NATURE!! GLORIOUS!!! Yeah, that gets old, too.
Not to say this film is without its virtues. The producers get a lot of mileage from that one CGI
effect of Sasquatch moving in for the kill (as seen on the movie cover)... A number of the
killings happen in ways you don't normally see in nature, like grabbing prey by the ankles and
smashing them against trees... There's a strangely and randomly homoerotic scene between
two of the female characters (sorry, it never pays off)... We get to see things in SasquaVision
[TM pending] -- that's pretty cool, I guess... And uh... Did I mention the homoerotic scene
between two of the female characters?
I'm sure there's a thoroughly entertaining film in there, if only you drink heavily enough to obtain
the proper vision.
effect of Sasquatch moving in for the kill (as seen on the movie cover)... A number of the
killings happen in ways you don't normally see in nature, like grabbing prey by the ankles and
smashing them against trees... There's a strangely and randomly homoerotic scene between
two of the female characters (sorry, it never pays off)... We get to see things in SasquaVision
[TM pending] -- that's pretty cool, I guess... And uh... Did I mention the homoerotic scene
between two of the female characters?
I'm sure there's a thoroughly entertaining film in there, if only you drink heavily enough to obtain
the proper vision.
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