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NIGHT OF THE SCARECROW
* * * (1995, 85 minutes, Rated R)
Good Stuffin'.
First, a story about how I got hold of this film: I was putzing around a tag sale some time ago, and
saw a handful of VHS tapes on sale. No more than a dozen, for 25 cents each. Nothing of interest
at a glance. But then I noticed one tape, in one of those generic black plastic rental cases. This
was the label on the case:
* * * (1995, 85 minutes, Rated R)
Good Stuffin'.
First, a story about how I got hold of this film: I was putzing around a tag sale some time ago, and
saw a handful of VHS tapes on sale. No more than a dozen, for 25 cents each. Nothing of interest
at a glance. But then I noticed one tape, in one of those generic black plastic rental cases. This
was the label on the case:
 |
Oh yeah, that was worth my 25 cents. Fortunately, so was the film.
We open -- unsurprisingly -- in a corn field. A crow lands on the shoulder of a scarecrow, picks off
its button eye... and promptly drops dead. Duh-duh-DUH!
Welcome to the town of Hanford, just a slice of small-town middle America. The kind of place
where the groundbreaking of the "Hanford Mall" is marked with the high school marching band
and a speech by the mayor. Into town rolls a gal who is just like a brat-pack era Ally Sheedy, but
isn't. Not Ally Sheedy, or "Claire," is just a steel town girl on a Saturday night, looking for the fight of
her life.
We open -- unsurprisingly -- in a corn field. A crow lands on the shoulder of a scarecrow, picks off
its button eye... and promptly drops dead. Duh-duh-DUH!
Welcome to the town of Hanford, just a slice of small-town middle America. The kind of place
where the groundbreaking of the "Hanford Mall" is marked with the high school marching band
and a speech by the mayor. Into town rolls a gal who is just like a brat-pack era Ally Sheedy, but
isn't. Not Ally Sheedy, or "Claire," is just a steel town girl on a Saturday night, looking for the fight of
her life.
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| Ally Sheedy and Scott Bakula (above, left to right), neither of which actually appear in this film. |
At the groundbreaking ceremony,
Claire meets Constructionwear Not
Scott Bakula (or "Dylan") and
exposits that she's the mayor's
daughter and that she doesnt get
along too well with Daddy.
As the two meet cute, watching from
a distance is a Teenaged Not John
Hawkes, wh-- hold on, that is the
actual John Hawkes! Anyway, a
young soon-to-be Academy Award
nominee John Hawkes watches from
a distance and thinks about how
someday he'll star on "Deadwood"
as Sol Stars.
Claire meets Constructionwear Not
Scott Bakula (or "Dylan") and
exposits that she's the mayor's
daughter and that she doesnt get
along too well with Daddy.
As the two meet cute, watching from
a distance is a Teenaged Not John
Hawkes, wh-- hold on, that is the
actual John Hawkes! Anyway, a
young soon-to-be Academy Award
nominee John Hawkes watches from
a distance and thinks about how
someday he'll star on "Deadwood"
as Sol Stars.
Later, John Hawkes and a nameless buddy get drunk and take a bulldozer out joyriding in the
corn field. As one tends to. They crash into some kind of stone tomb lid (?) by the scarecrow, and
then the nameless buddy pees on the scarecrow. Amazingly, this guy actually lives through the
film.
There's a lot of high winds and later some CGI lightning jumping out of the tomb to the scarecrow,
and voila: living killer Scarecrow! And man, is he “pissed.” Heh heh.
But first, Dylan comes over to Claire's house for an awkward family dinner. While there, Dylan
meets such stock characters as Uncle Drunken Lout, Uncle Priest (accompanied by his Haughty
Wife and Slutty Daughter) and Uncle Sheriff played by Stephen "Don't call me Milton" Root.
corn field. As one tends to. They crash into some kind of stone tomb lid (?) by the scarecrow, and
then the nameless buddy pees on the scarecrow. Amazingly, this guy actually lives through the
film.
There's a lot of high winds and later some CGI lightning jumping out of the tomb to the scarecrow,
and voila: living killer Scarecrow! And man, is he “pissed.” Heh heh.
But first, Dylan comes over to Claire's house for an awkward family dinner. While there, Dylan
meets such stock characters as Uncle Drunken Lout, Uncle Priest (accompanied by his Haughty
Wife and Slutty Daughter) and Uncle Sheriff played by Stephen "Don't call me Milton" Root.
| John Hawkes and Stephen Root (above, left to right), who actually do appear in this film. |
Uncle Drunken Lout (UDL) is our
first victim. Strangely, UDL doesn’t
think much of being pulled
backwards out of his (unbroken)
picture window -- maybe that‘s part
of his drunken lout powers. Instead,
he grabs his trusty shotgun and
heads into the barn. The Scarecrow
gives UDL a haymaker (ha!) before
killing him with an elaborate
combination of farming equipment.
first victim. Strangely, UDL doesn’t
think much of being pulled
backwards out of his (unbroken)
picture window -- maybe that‘s part
of his drunken lout powers. Instead,
he grabs his trusty shotgun and
heads into the barn. The Scarecrow
gives UDL a haymaker (ha!) before
killing him with an elaborate
combination of farming equipment.
And so it goes. Our Hanford Brothers clearly know something is up, but like all dysfunctional
families, won’t talk about it in any meaningful way. Mayor Daddy keeps up his general
douchbaggery. Uncle Sheriff wanders around, muttering about his red stapler. And Uncle Priest
continues to act all priest-y, even when it doesn’t make any sense like getting all squirrelly around
a lingerie magazine. Dude, you’re not celibate, you’re marri-- oh, never mind.
Yes, Uncle Priest is the most insufferable of the lot, and in one glorious scene the Scarecrow
actually stitches his mouth shut. Unfortunately, it doesn’t stay that way.
Hey, someone has to drop the exposition bomb. It’s quite the bedtime story: Once upon a time,
when the farming town of Hanford was just starting out, everyone struggled. Desperate, the town
families, won’t talk about it in any meaningful way. Mayor Daddy keeps up his general
douchbaggery. Uncle Sheriff wanders around, muttering about his red stapler. And Uncle Priest
continues to act all priest-y, even when it doesn’t make any sense like getting all squirrelly around
a lingerie magazine. Dude, you’re not celibate, you’re marri-- oh, never mind.
Yes, Uncle Priest is the most insufferable of the lot, and in one glorious scene the Scarecrow
actually stitches his mouth shut. Unfortunately, it doesn’t stay that way.
Hey, someone has to drop the exposition bomb. It’s quite the bedtime story: Once upon a time,
when the farming town of Hanford was just starting out, everyone struggled. Desperate, the town
| Nolahn can't count the number of times he wrote "Hannaford" instead of "Hanford" in this review. |
elders made a deal with the local warlock t-- no,
really, stay with me -- than if he could make the
town prosperous, they’d let him live there in
peace. For the warlock, “in peace” meant “with
lots of orgies.” Not demonic rituals or the
sacrificing of virgins. Just orgies. But that
apparently was too much for the town elders, so
they stole his spell book, crucified him in the corn
field and buried his remains there.
The Scarecrow, we’re told, is possessed by the
spirit of the warlock and is looking for the spell
book. If the Scarecrow finds it, he’ll turn himself
human again.
really, stay with me -- than if he could make the
town prosperous, they’d let him live there in
peace. For the warlock, “in peace” meant “with
lots of orgies.” Not demonic rituals or the
sacrificing of virgins. Just orgies. But that
apparently was too much for the town elders, so
they stole his spell book, crucified him in the corn
field and buried his remains there.
The Scarecrow, we’re told, is possessed by the
spirit of the warlock and is looking for the spell
book. If the Scarecrow finds it, he’ll turn himself
human again.
Which is… bad? Wouldn’t a flesh and blood warlock be easier to dispatch than a magically
possessed scarecrow? And, really, all the guy did was host orgies. Not exactly a global threat of
a super-villain here.
No time for thinking! It’s a race to find the spell book! There’s plenty of speeding cars and
running through the corn field and whatnot, and you know this film wouldn’t be complete without
our Claire quipping “How ‘bout some fire, Scarecrow?”, a big explosion and a last-minute fake
death.
Which is to say, this film was quite satisfying. It’s fairly predictable, sure, but the Scarecrow
strikes the right balance of corniness and menace, and the inclusion of some future top-shelf
character actors is a nice treat. Night of the Scarecrow doesn’t break any new ground, but as the
horror equivalent of comfort food, you could do much worse.
possessed scarecrow? And, really, all the guy did was host orgies. Not exactly a global threat of
a super-villain here.
No time for thinking! It’s a race to find the spell book! There’s plenty of speeding cars and
running through the corn field and whatnot, and you know this film wouldn’t be complete without
our Claire quipping “How ‘bout some fire, Scarecrow?”, a big explosion and a last-minute fake
death.
Which is to say, this film was quite satisfying. It’s fairly predictable, sure, but the Scarecrow
strikes the right balance of corniness and menace, and the inclusion of some future top-shelf
character actors is a nice treat. Night of the Scarecrow doesn’t break any new ground, but as the
horror equivalent of comfort food, you could do much worse.
