MOSQUITO MAN
aka MANSQUITO
* * * (2004, 92 minutes, Rated R)
Sadly, no giant-sized fly swatters are featured in this film.
Ah, 1990... The pre-dawn of the Grunge Era and Generation X, a time that definitely wasn't the
'80s, but with it's crazy silk shirts and C+C Music Factory, definitely wasn't the '90s, either.
My favorite TV show in 1990 was "Parker Lewis Can't Lose." You can go ahead and check it out
on YouTube, the show hasn't aged well. This cartoonishly surreal sit-com was about a really
cool guy not named Ferris Bueller getting in and out of all sorts of high school antics. It did
pretty well, running for three seasons -- a solid 60 episodes better than the TV spin-off "Ferris
Bueller," which debuted on the same night.
aka MANSQUITO
* * * (2004, 92 minutes, Rated R)
Sadly, no giant-sized fly swatters are featured in this film.
Ah, 1990... The pre-dawn of the Grunge Era and Generation X, a time that definitely wasn't the
'80s, but with it's crazy silk shirts and C+C Music Factory, definitely wasn't the '90s, either.
My favorite TV show in 1990 was "Parker Lewis Can't Lose." You can go ahead and check it out
on YouTube, the show hasn't aged well. This cartoonishly surreal sit-com was about a really
cool guy not named Ferris Bueller getting in and out of all sorts of high school antics. It did
pretty well, running for three seasons -- a solid 60 episodes better than the TV spin-off "Ferris
Bueller," which debuted on the same night.
The title character, played by Corin Nemec (to the
right, with the perfectly sculpted hair) achieved a fair
amount of fame and attention from the show. Since
those days, whenever I see Arsenio Hall on TV or
hear "Ice Ice Baby" on the radio, I think to myself,
"Whatever happened to Parker Lewis?"
Sadly, the answer is Mosquito Man.
Okay, so here's the situation: There's a new strain
of the West Nile virus (topical!) going around, and
it's killing people off. An unusually hot scientist is
close to developing an anti-virus, which she'll
spread by introducing it into the mosquito
population, but her douche bag boss wants her to
test it on people now. So when a psycho killer
previously put away by Police Detective Parker
Lewis accepts reduced jail time to be the guinea
right, with the perfectly sculpted hair) achieved a fair
amount of fame and attention from the show. Since
those days, whenever I see Arsenio Hall on TV or
hear "Ice Ice Baby" on the radio, I think to myself,
"Whatever happened to Parker Lewis?"
Sadly, the answer is Mosquito Man.
Okay, so here's the situation: There's a new strain
of the West Nile virus (topical!) going around, and
it's killing people off. An unusually hot scientist is
close to developing an anti-virus, which she'll
spread by introducing it into the mosquito
population, but her douche bag boss wants her to
test it on people now. So when a psycho killer
previously put away by Police Detective Parker
Lewis accepts reduced jail time to be the guinea
| If Parker Lewis Can't Lose, then how did he end up in a crappy movie about a giant mosquito? |
pig, you know things are going to go pear-shaped. The psycho attempts an escape, he's
caught in an explosion of radiation and mosquitoes... yada yada yada... Mansquito is born!
No, Mansquito isn't a junior varsity Spider-Man villain or a diminutive masked Mexican luchador.
caught in an explosion of radiation and mosquitoes... yada yada yada... Mansquito is born!
No, Mansquito isn't a junior varsity Spider-Man villain or a diminutive masked Mexican luchador.
| Not Mansquito. |
Predictably enough, Mansquito is a giant mutant mosquito. Or at
least a guy in a giant latex cockroach costume. Mansquito also
features a large, rigid proboscis that slowly extends out of his (its?)
mouth before plunging it into his latest victim... I'm sure the film's
director could write an entire dissertation on the subtext of that.
Speaking of Anvils of Obviousness, the Internets never fail me: In
the whole three minutes of research I do in reviewing films, I quickly
least a guy in a giant latex cockroach costume. Mansquito also
features a large, rigid proboscis that slowly extends out of his (its?)
mouth before plunging it into his latest victim... I'm sure the film's
director could write an entire dissertation on the subtext of that.
Speaking of Anvils of Obviousness, the Internets never fail me: In
the whole three minutes of research I do in reviewing films, I quickly
someone all bent out of shape over the unscientific portrayal of mosquitoes in this film.
Because while having a federal prison release a homicidal killer for medical testing only to have
the killer turn into a giant mutant mosquito that is bullet-proof and has bloodvision is fine, but to
imply that male mosquitoes suck blood? That, apparently, is out of bounds.
So what does a Mansquito do? Pretty much what you'd expect: Mansquito flies about Los
Angeles completely unseen (not unusual, apparently) and attacking people with its mouth
boner. Fortunately for Mansquito, all of its victims think they're in an old-school horror movie:
they just fall over and scream, as opposed to defending themselves or running away.
While that is going on, Det. Parker Lewis is sent to investigate the incident at the lab. The fact
that he's in a romantic relationship with the Unusually Hot Scientist doesn't prevent him from
working the case -- no worries about a conflict of interests in this police department. Maybe it's
just as well... after Mansquito takes out an entire SWAT team, Det. Parker Lewis is the only one
smart enough to get himself a BFG.
Then again, our detective is also the only one able to survive multiple encounters with
Mansquito. Looks like Parker Lewis can't lose after all.
Because while having a federal prison release a homicidal killer for medical testing only to have
the killer turn into a giant mutant mosquito that is bullet-proof and has bloodvision is fine, but to
imply that male mosquitoes suck blood? That, apparently, is out of bounds.
So what does a Mansquito do? Pretty much what you'd expect: Mansquito flies about Los
Angeles completely unseen (not unusual, apparently) and attacking people with its mouth
boner. Fortunately for Mansquito, all of its victims think they're in an old-school horror movie:
they just fall over and scream, as opposed to defending themselves or running away.
While that is going on, Det. Parker Lewis is sent to investigate the incident at the lab. The fact
that he's in a romantic relationship with the Unusually Hot Scientist doesn't prevent him from
working the case -- no worries about a conflict of interests in this police department. Maybe it's
just as well... after Mansquito takes out an entire SWAT team, Det. Parker Lewis is the only one
smart enough to get himself a BFG.
Then again, our detective is also the only one able to survive multiple encounters with
Mansquito. Looks like Parker Lewis can't lose after all.
| '09 Binnie Winner! |
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| Official entry into the B-Movie Meatloaf! |