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MONSTER DOG
* * * * (1984, 84 minutes, Unrated)
Welcome to my nightmare / I think you're going to like it
By Jose Prendes of Strictly Splatter. Directed by the infamous Italian Uwe Boll, Claudio
Fragasso (responsible for the masterpiece shitfest Troll 2) this film is notable for only one reason:
Rock God Alice Cooper plays...a rock star, believe it or not, who may just be a werewolf. This
simple premise sets up an old fashioned scare film that isn't great, but sure is fun to watch.
* * * * (1984, 84 minutes, Unrated)
Welcome to my nightmare / I think you're going to like it
By Jose Prendes of Strictly Splatter. Directed by the infamous Italian Uwe Boll, Claudio
Fragasso (responsible for the masterpiece shitfest Troll 2) this film is notable for only one reason:
Rock God Alice Cooper plays...a rock star, believe it or not, who may just be a werewolf. This
simple premise sets up an old fashioned scare film that isn't great, but sure is fun to watch.
 |
Alice plays Vincent Raven, a super popular rock star. We
are introduced to him at the beginning of the movie through
one of his fun music videos. Incidentally, Alice Cooper
sings two songs in the film, both written by him. This is the
only time you can actually hear his real voice because
someone thought it would be a good idea to dub his voice,
even if there was no need to.
Anyway, Vincent and his director girlfriend Sandra (played by
the lovely Victoria Vera) have brought along some friends for
his latest music video shoot. Vince has decided to return to
his ancestral home in the fog-shrouded moors of Italy, or
some unnamed American countryside.
His family has a history there that Vincent has tried to avoid,
but must now face: His father was murdered and burned to
ashes by the townsfolk because they believed he was a
werewolf who was controlling all the local dogs and killing
off the innocent townsfolk. [Why would a werewolf have any
power over dogs? - Nolahn] It just so happens that Vince's
return coincides with a string of random dog attacks that
have gripped the small hamlet with fear.
are introduced to him at the beginning of the movie through
one of his fun music videos. Incidentally, Alice Cooper
sings two songs in the film, both written by him. This is the
only time you can actually hear his real voice because
someone thought it would be a good idea to dub his voice,
even if there was no need to.
Anyway, Vincent and his director girlfriend Sandra (played by
the lovely Victoria Vera) have brought along some friends for
his latest music video shoot. Vince has decided to return to
his ancestral home in the fog-shrouded moors of Italy, or
some unnamed American countryside.
His family has a history there that Vincent has tried to avoid,
but must now face: His father was murdered and burned to
ashes by the townsfolk because they believed he was a
werewolf who was controlling all the local dogs and killing
off the innocent townsfolk. [Why would a werewolf have any
power over dogs? - Nolahn] It just so happens that Vince's
return coincides with a string of random dog attacks that
have gripped the small hamlet with fear.
| FUN FACT: From 1971 to 1991, Alice Cooper was contractually obligated to keep a snake around his neck whenever appearing in public. |
After a run-in with a bloody guy on the road who warns them that they are all going to die, the gang
settles into Vince's mansion and they start to get their video shoot underway. During their shoot,
the body of the mansion's caretaker crashes through a window. He has been mauled to death
and they start to think that the wild dogs in the area might have somehow gotten into the house.
One of the girls in the group gets freaked out and runs away. Vince chases after her with a
shotgun while the others stay back.
settles into Vince's mansion and they start to get their video shoot underway. During their shoot,
the body of the mansion's caretaker crashes through a window. He has been mauled to death
and they start to think that the wild dogs in the area might have somehow gotten into the house.
One of the girls in the group gets freaked out and runs away. Vince chases after her with a
shotgun while the others stay back.
| Like this, but with Alice Cooper packin' the shotgutn. |
Now the film takes a turn and becomes Straw
Dogs. Four of the guys from town show up with
guns and convince the gang to let them inside.
Once inside, they take the kids hostage and wait
for Vince to return. They believe he shares the
werewolf curse Vince's father had and want to put
a silver bullet into him. Vince eventually comes
back and a tense shootout begins. Alice Cooper
does a fine job as the badass with a shotgun, even
if he is wearing a bizarre leather outfit and is
sporting silver eyeliner.
During the battle, the house is overrun with wild
Dogs. Four of the guys from town show up with
guns and convince the gang to let them inside.
Once inside, they take the kids hostage and wait
for Vince to return. They believe he shares the
werewolf curse Vince's father had and want to put
a silver bullet into him. Vince eventually comes
back and a tense shootout begins. Alice Cooper
does a fine job as the badass with a shotgun, even
if he is wearing a bizarre leather outfit and is
sporting silver eyeliner.
During the battle, the house is overrun with wild
dogs that seem to stream out of the woods. The monster dog arrives, and even though we never
get a nice long look at it (probably because it sucks) I would say it looks like a mutated German
Shepherd and not so much a werewolf, but whatever. Vince shows up and saves Sandra and the
remaining gal, Marilou.
The gals fall asleep, but Sandra later wakes up to find Vince surrounded by the dogs. It's almost
as if he is controlling them, but he is as surprised as she is. Is he really cursed? Is he really the
monster dog without knowing it? They take advantage of this lull in the storm to head to the car
and get the hell out of town.
But wouldn't you know it, the monster dog makes a final appearance and bites Vince. So he
wasn't the werewolf after all, but now he starts turning into one. Sandra, realizing there is nothing
else she can do, blows away her rock star lover and wanders away in a daze. Then we get a
recap of the movie while the opening music video plays again and the credits roll.
Feel like you're missing something?
Well, I sure do. Who the hell was the other monster dog!?!
If it wasn't Vince, and it has to be a "person", who the hell was it!?! The film not only fails to answer
this, but ignores the fact completely. Sandra shot one monster dog, but there is still another
running around. Unless it died in the car accident that occurred after Vince got bit... but it is never
really made clear to us.
In any case, I really enjoyed this movie. The fog-choked atmosphere and the creepy surroundings
reminded me of an old-fashioned old-dark-house movie. Alice Cooper did a great job, even if they
didn't use his voice, and the rest of the cast was fine (minus a few cheesy scenes). There's plenty
of blood, but a dearth of boobage, which was kind of a shame. The effects were crap, and the plot
was nonsensical, but it somehow all worked despite its many flaws. This will never be
considered a masterpiece in any sense of the word (like Troll 2 is a masterpiece of crappy
movies). Monster Dog is too good to suck completely and too stupid to be actually good, but bad
movie connoisseurs will definitely enjoy it... Alice Cooper fans will too!
get a nice long look at it (probably because it sucks) I would say it looks like a mutated German
Shepherd and not so much a werewolf, but whatever. Vince shows up and saves Sandra and the
remaining gal, Marilou.
The gals fall asleep, but Sandra later wakes up to find Vince surrounded by the dogs. It's almost
as if he is controlling them, but he is as surprised as she is. Is he really cursed? Is he really the
monster dog without knowing it? They take advantage of this lull in the storm to head to the car
and get the hell out of town.
But wouldn't you know it, the monster dog makes a final appearance and bites Vince. So he
wasn't the werewolf after all, but now he starts turning into one. Sandra, realizing there is nothing
else she can do, blows away her rock star lover and wanders away in a daze. Then we get a
recap of the movie while the opening music video plays again and the credits roll.
Feel like you're missing something?
Well, I sure do. Who the hell was the other monster dog!?!
If it wasn't Vince, and it has to be a "person", who the hell was it!?! The film not only fails to answer
this, but ignores the fact completely. Sandra shot one monster dog, but there is still another
running around. Unless it died in the car accident that occurred after Vince got bit... but it is never
really made clear to us.
In any case, I really enjoyed this movie. The fog-choked atmosphere and the creepy surroundings
reminded me of an old-fashioned old-dark-house movie. Alice Cooper did a great job, even if they
didn't use his voice, and the rest of the cast was fine (minus a few cheesy scenes). There's plenty
of blood, but a dearth of boobage, which was kind of a shame. The effects were crap, and the plot
was nonsensical, but it somehow all worked despite its many flaws. This will never be
considered a masterpiece in any sense of the word (like Troll 2 is a masterpiece of crappy
movies). Monster Dog is too good to suck completely and too stupid to be actually good, but bad
movie connoisseurs will definitely enjoy it... Alice Cooper fans will too!
Jose Prendes is one half of the dynamic duo behind Strictly Spatter,
a horror movie review site specializing in the Obscure, B-Movies,
Bad Movies, Cult Films, Bizarre, Asian Horror, Italian Euro, Low
Budget, Camp Horror and Exploitation.
This is Jose's entry into the B-Movie Meatloaf, Experiment 04:
HALF-MAN/HALF-[BLANK].
a horror movie review site specializing in the Obscure, B-Movies,
Bad Movies, Cult Films, Bizarre, Asian Horror, Italian Euro, Low
Budget, Camp Horror and Exploitation.
This is Jose's entry into the B-Movie Meatloaf, Experiment 04:
HALF-MAN/HALF-[BLANK].
| Official entry into the B-Movie Meatloaf! |