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LOST BOYS: THE TRIBE
* * (2008, 94 minutes, Unrated)
Now with 100% more boobies, 50% less Coreys.
It wasn't my intention to review another vampire movie (the last five films reviewed at The 'Bin
include this one and this one). But I saw that Lost Boys: The Tribe -- long on my radar -- would only
be available for Instant Viewing on Netflix for a few more days. So thanks, Netflix. And for the free
plug, you're welcome.
* * (2008, 94 minutes, Unrated)
Now with 100% more boobies, 50% less Coreys.
It wasn't my intention to review another vampire movie (the last five films reviewed at The 'Bin
include this one and this one). But I saw that Lost Boys: The Tribe -- long on my radar -- would only
be available for Instant Viewing on Netflix for a few more days. So thanks, Netflix. And for the free
plug, you're welcome.
 |
As I'm sure you already know, Lost Boys: The
Tribe is long awaited sequel to The Lost Boys,
the best teenage vampire movie that 1987 had to
offer. The Lost Boys was the high water mark for
our nation's Coreys (Haim and Feldman),
directed by Joel Schumacher long before he
unleashed the WMD known as Batman & Robin.
Tribe is long awaited sequel to The Lost Boys,
the best teenage vampire movie that 1987 had to
offer. The Lost Boys was the high water mark for
our nation's Coreys (Haim and Feldman),
directed by Joel Schumacher long before he
unleashed the WMD known as Batman & Robin.
| Netflix: Enjoyer of Free Publicity |
I can sincerely say that The Lost Boys was quite awesome. But that was then, and this is now.
And now opens with a bunch of Surfer Dudes breaking into a private beach late at night. I'm not a
surfer, but who goes surfing at night, in the dark? And are the beaches so crowded in the middle
of the night that one has to break into a private beach to go surfing?
Turns out that the beach belongs to The Godfather of Gore, Tom Savini. He's a bit offended. I'm a
bit offended for him, though for entirely different reasons.
And now opens with a bunch of Surfer Dudes breaking into a private beach late at night. I'm not a
surfer, but who goes surfing at night, in the dark? And are the beaches so crowded in the middle
of the night that one has to break into a private beach to go surfing?
Turns out that the beach belongs to The Godfather of Gore, Tom Savini. He's a bit offended. I'm a
bit offended for him, though for entirely different reasons.
| Dear Mr. Savini: I'm sorry to see that you've been featured here at The 'Bin. Love your work, Nolahn. |
Tom Savini is vastly outnumbered by the Surfer
Dudes, but he doesn't back down cuz he's Tom
MF'n Savini. Instead, he tells the Mountain Dew
rejects to get off his lawn.
Also, he's a vampire. Surprise!
But wait! The Surfer Dudes are also vampires.
Double surprise!! Cue the glam rock.
Post-credits, we're introduced to a re-heated
version of the plot to the original The Lost Boys.
Recently orphaned Bro and Sis move into their
aunt's craphole in Luna Bay, CA. I read on
IMDB.com that the siblings are the children of
Dudes, but he doesn't back down cuz he's Tom
MF'n Savini. Instead, he tells the Mountain Dew
rejects to get off his lawn.
Also, he's a vampire. Surprise!
But wait! The Surfer Dudes are also vampires.
Double surprise!! Cue the glam rock.
Post-credits, we're introduced to a re-heated
version of the plot to the original The Lost Boys.
Recently orphaned Bro and Sis move into their
aunt's craphole in Luna Bay, CA. I read on
IMDB.com that the siblings are the children of
Michael from the first movie, but I never picked up on that from the film. The Bro, Chris, is a former
pro-surfer. His younger sis, Nicole (Autumn Reeser), just kinda hangs out being hot.
pro-surfer. His younger sis, Nicole (Autumn Reeser), just kinda hangs out being hot.
| Like this. |
They meet the awesomely named Shane Powers (played by a relative of Kiefer Sutherland's), a
former pro surfer turned Leader of the (Vampire) Pack. Shane invites them to one of those outdoor
parties that only happen in the movies -- zillions of people, motorcycles zipping around, lots of open
fires, pro skaters working a half-pipe and topless women making out. At least, I think these parties
are only thrown in the movies. If they really do exist, I never get invited.
Soon enough, Nicole has taken a swig of blood from Shane's flask, and it's up to Chris and special
guest star Corey Feldman to save Nicole before she goes from half-vampire (don't get me
started)to full-fledged vampire. Like I said, a re-heated version of the original's plot.
The whole thing plays out like a giant Mountain Dew commercial, and I don't mean that as a
complement. The Surfer Dudes are forever surfing, skateboarding, motocrossing, whooping and
hollering... it's exhausting. Hell, their idea of a prank is to stab each other with swords. Woooo!
Instead of being impressed, they come off as trying too hard.
Which sums up this film rather nicely.
former pro surfer turned Leader of the (Vampire) Pack. Shane invites them to one of those outdoor
parties that only happen in the movies -- zillions of people, motorcycles zipping around, lots of open
fires, pro skaters working a half-pipe and topless women making out. At least, I think these parties
are only thrown in the movies. If they really do exist, I never get invited.
Soon enough, Nicole has taken a swig of blood from Shane's flask, and it's up to Chris and special
guest star Corey Feldman to save Nicole before she goes from half-vampire (don't get me
started)to full-fledged vampire. Like I said, a re-heated version of the original's plot.
The whole thing plays out like a giant Mountain Dew commercial, and I don't mean that as a
complement. The Surfer Dudes are forever surfing, skateboarding, motocrossing, whooping and
hollering... it's exhausting. Hell, their idea of a prank is to stab each other with swords. Woooo!
Instead of being impressed, they come off as trying too hard.
Which sums up this film rather nicely.
| Have you seen this man? Keep an eye out during the end credits for a blink-and-you'll-miss-it appearance. Or look on a milk carton. |
Looking for a second opinion? This was a
rare instance of a straight-to-DVD film with a
lot of media attention, so you have plenty of
sites to choose from. May we recommend...
FULL MOON REVIEWS
GEEKS OF DOOM
HELL HORROR
OBSCURE HORROR
rare instance of a straight-to-DVD film with a
lot of media attention, so you have plenty of
sites to choose from. May we recommend...
FULL MOON REVIEWS
GEEKS OF DOOM
HELL HORROR
OBSCURE HORROR
