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KILLJOY
* * * (2000, 72 minutes, Rated R)
"Hey bone-heads! It's Miller Time!"
IN A HURRY? CHECK OUT OUR MINI-REVIEW IN THE UTICA OBSERVER-DISPATCH!
I was formally challenged by my partner in pod casting, Jason Soto of Invasion of the B-Movies, to
review this film. Formally, like gauntlets were thrown. And just like Jon-Mikl Thor of The Tritonz, “I
accept the challenge”!
So let’s get right to it: No pre-credits killing in this film, which leaves me feeling a bit short-
changed. Without the simulated deaths of characters I have no emotional investment in, how will I
know that I’m watching a horror movie?
And Killjoy certainly starts off more Boyz in the Hood than Leprechaun: In the Hood. We open with
a story -- all to the tune of some dope beats playing in the background, taking me back to the days
of “Yo! MTV Raps“ -- of Boy (Michael) meets Girl (Jada), Boy courts Girl, Boy gets turned down by
Girl because she’s already dating a thug (Lorenzo) who stomps a mudhole in Boy, Boy summons
Black Magic to win Girl back. This is almost exactly how the Lovely Mrs. Nolahn and I got together.
Michael is partway through his black magic ceremony -- he has candles from Pier 1 and
* * * (2000, 72 minutes, Rated R)
"Hey bone-heads! It's Miller Time!"
IN A HURRY? CHECK OUT OUR MINI-REVIEW IN THE UTICA OBSERVER-DISPATCH!
I was formally challenged by my partner in pod casting, Jason Soto of Invasion of the B-Movies, to
review this film. Formally, like gauntlets were thrown. And just like Jon-Mikl Thor of The Tritonz, “I
accept the challenge”!
So let’s get right to it: No pre-credits killing in this film, which leaves me feeling a bit short-
changed. Without the simulated deaths of characters I have no emotional investment in, how will I
know that I’m watching a horror movie?
And Killjoy certainly starts off more Boyz in the Hood than Leprechaun: In the Hood. We open with
a story -- all to the tune of some dope beats playing in the background, taking me back to the days
of “Yo! MTV Raps“ -- of Boy (Michael) meets Girl (Jada), Boy courts Girl, Boy gets turned down by
Girl because she’s already dating a thug (Lorenzo) who stomps a mudhole in Boy, Boy summons
Black Magic to win Girl back. This is almost exactly how the Lovely Mrs. Nolahn and I got together.
Michael is partway through his black magic ceremony -- he has candles from Pier 1 and
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everything! -- when one of Lorenzo’s henchmen
comes calling. “I want to be your friend. Come
outside!” he calls out to Michael, and because
Michael is dumber than dirt, he does. Yada, yada,
yada, Lorenzo guns down Michael, and then he and
his henchmen stand around bickering without the
slightest bit of concern that gunfire might draw the
attention of the police.
One year later, and Jada is now involved with her
study-mate (despite casting actors pushing 30, all of
the characters are meant to be in high school), a
human Ken Doll named Jamal. This leads to the first
of a couple strange editing decisions in the film: A
comes calling. “I want to be your friend. Come
outside!” he calls out to Michael, and because
Michael is dumber than dirt, he does. Yada, yada,
yada, Lorenzo guns down Michael, and then he and
his henchmen stand around bickering without the
slightest bit of concern that gunfire might draw the
attention of the police.
One year later, and Jada is now involved with her
study-mate (despite casting actors pushing 30, all of
the characters are meant to be in high school), a
human Ken Doll named Jamal. This leads to the first
of a couple strange editing decisions in the film: A
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| Pier 1 Imports: Fine Purveyor of Black Magic Accessories |
scene of Lorenzo smoking up and bragging to his henchmen about the girl he’s been banging
intercut with Jamal and Jada having slow jam sex. Okay… Lorenzo head out to go a’banging, and
the henchmen head out to an ice cream truck to appease their munchies.
Here’s where the film gets weird.
The ice cream truck is run by a (literal) clown who offers to sell the thugs some pot. The
henchmen step into the ice cream truck and are teleported (!) to an abandoned warehouse. The
two split up and are promptly killed off by the clown, Nightmare on Elm Street-style. We finally
learn that not only are the thugs dead, but they never left the hangout.
Dun dun DUN!
intercut with Jamal and Jada having slow jam sex. Okay… Lorenzo head out to go a’banging, and
the henchmen head out to an ice cream truck to appease their munchies.
Here’s where the film gets weird.
The ice cream truck is run by a (literal) clown who offers to sell the thugs some pot. The
henchmen step into the ice cream truck and are teleported (!) to an abandoned warehouse. The
two split up and are promptly killed off by the clown, Nightmare on Elm Street-style. We finally
learn that not only are the thugs dead, but they never left the hangout.
Dun dun DUN!
| He'll haunt your dreams... |
So even though Killjoy looks like a combination the Caesar
Romero take on The Joker and a nightmarish version of
Carrot Top -- seriously, the make-up job on Killjoy is
fantastic -- this killer clown seems to be taking his modus
operandi straight out of the Freddy Krueger playbook. Only
instead of invading your dreams, you have to invade Killjoy’s
magical ice cream truck. Yes, it is totally stupid.
And it leads to a number of questions I have about the film:
Why an ice cream truck? Where exactly does the ice cream
truck take Killjoy’s victims? If Killjoy’s victims have to enter
the truck for Killjoy to get at them, why are our protagonists
Romero take on The Joker and a nightmarish version of
Carrot Top -- seriously, the make-up job on Killjoy is
fantastic -- this killer clown seems to be taking his modus
operandi straight out of the Freddy Krueger playbook. Only
instead of invading your dreams, you have to invade Killjoy’s
magical ice cream truck. Yes, it is totally stupid.
And it leads to a number of questions I have about the film:
Why an ice cream truck? Where exactly does the ice cream
truck take Killjoy’s victims? If Killjoy’s victims have to enter
the truck for Killjoy to get at them, why are our protagonists
going into the truck? Why not have the truck impounded? Or simply not go into the truck? Why is
Killjoy doing this? What’s in it for him? What’s the nature of the deal between Killjoy and
Michael? Cuz if it’s simply revenge, why doesn’t Killjoy go away after killing Lorenzo? Speaking of
Lorenzo, where did he get a revolver that shoots 21 bullets? Can I have one? And who’s the
chick he’s shagging? What’s her story? How can she afford to have a spacious apartment to
Killjoy doing this? What’s in it for him? What’s the nature of the deal between Killjoy and
Michael? Cuz if it’s simply revenge, why doesn’t Killjoy go away after killing Lorenzo? Speaking of
Lorenzo, where did he get a revolver that shoots 21 bullets? Can I have one? And who’s the
chick he’s shagging? What’s her story? How can she afford to have a spacious apartment to
| Nolahn, pondering the mysteries of Killjoy. |
herself but not a shower curtain? Does she go to high school, too?
Is it creepy that we get to watch a high school girl take a shower --
even if the actress is pushing 30? And why was Lorenzo's death
scene intercut with shots of her taking a shower? Hey, who has
their own apartment in high school anyway? What’s the point of
having characters talk about high school activities when you never
see them in school and all the actors are obviously well-beyond high
school age? And what’s the deal with the HOG?
The Homeless Old Guy (HOG) sadly witnesses the mud stomping
Michael receives from Lorenzo’s gang, and then abruptly shows up
halfway through the film to dump some exposition on our
protagonists. After telling Jada, her pal Monique and Ken Doll Jamal
about the evils of Killjoy and the “many, many” people he’s killed
(“many, many” = three), the HOG gives some incredibly vague advise
on how to take out the clown, and then ghosts out.
Is it creepy that we get to watch a high school girl take a shower --
even if the actress is pushing 30? And why was Lorenzo's death
scene intercut with shots of her taking a shower? Hey, who has
their own apartment in high school anyway? What’s the point of
having characters talk about high school activities when you never
see them in school and all the actors are obviously well-beyond high
school age? And what’s the deal with the HOG?
The Homeless Old Guy (HOG) sadly witnesses the mud stomping
Michael receives from Lorenzo’s gang, and then abruptly shows up
halfway through the film to dump some exposition on our
protagonists. After telling Jada, her pal Monique and Ken Doll Jamal
about the evils of Killjoy and the “many, many” people he’s killed
(“many, many” = three), the HOG gives some incredibly vague advise
on how to take out the clown, and then ghosts out.
Our protagonists are completely non-pulsed by this. I guess having elderly people dissipate
before your eyes is a common occurrence in the Hood. How the hell should I know? I grew up
in the suburbs of Connecticut.
before your eyes is a common occurrence in the Hood. How the hell should I know? I grew up
in the suburbs of Connecticut.
| Connecticut: Rich in nutmeg and boat shoes, not so much in vibrant inner city life |
Anyway, Jada and her pals go hopping into
the magical ice cream truck, despite the fact
that they haven’t encountered Killjoy or ever
considered the notion that the HOG is a few
cards short of a full deck. First thing Ken Doll
Jamal wants to do? Split up. Now there’s a
guy who has never seen a horror film or even
an episode of “Scooby Doo.” To their credit,
Jada and Monique spend the next five
minutes (of a 72-minute film!) arguing with
Jamal and trying to convince him that he’s an
idiot.
And so: Running! Silly fighting! Ken Doll
Jamal flatly delivering the lamest tough guy
lines ever! (See the subtitle to this review.)
the magical ice cream truck, despite the fact
that they haven’t encountered Killjoy or ever
considered the notion that the HOG is a few
cards short of a full deck. First thing Ken Doll
Jamal wants to do? Split up. Now there’s a
guy who has never seen a horror film or even
an episode of “Scooby Doo.” To their credit,
Jada and Monique spend the next five
minutes (of a 72-minute film!) arguing with
Jamal and trying to convince him that he’s an
idiot.
And so: Running! Silly fighting! Ken Doll
Jamal flatly delivering the lamest tough guy
lines ever! (See the subtitle to this review.)
Epileptic zombies! The HOG chimes in, Obi-Wan style, to help out Jada defeat Killjoy before we
head into a series of increasingly obvious fake-out endings.
Gotta leave it open for the sequel, after all.
This review comes to you courtesy of a challenge from Jason Soto at Invasion of the
B-Movies. You can check out his review of Killjoy here.
head into a series of increasingly obvious fake-out endings.
Gotta leave it open for the sequel, after all.
This review comes to you courtesy of a challenge from Jason Soto at Invasion of the
B-Movies. You can check out his review of Killjoy here.