KILLER KLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE * * * * (1988, 86 minutes, Rated PG-13) An Amerikan Klassik
"I'll be greased up and fried! What in the blue blazes is the circus doing up in these parts?" -- Farmer "I'm surprised I didn't poke the alien with a stick" Gene Green
Good question. We open on a typical Friday night in a small-town Americana college town, during those innocent days of the 1980s. It feels so fresh-faced (How fresh-faced is it?!?), that this could almost be the 1950s instead of the 1980s -- that was probably done on purpose, since much of the film is a parody of The Blob.
"Teenage" couple Mike and Debbie are at the local make-out place, making out in an inflatable raft (note to self: buy inflatable raft) when they spot a shooting star that appears to have landed nearby. The two go hunting for it and instead find a circus tent which -- as you might have guessed from the title -- is more than just a circus tent. The tent is staffed with a platoon of aliens that have wholly and completely adopted the entire "creepy-ass clown" theme, they're like a pack of junior varsity comic book villains. Let's do a quick inventory:
Popcorn-shooting gun? Check.
Sentient balloon animals? Check.
Human victims stored in cotton candy cocoons? Check.
After Mike and Debbie get a big eyeful of the Death Star layout inside the circus tent and find a friend in one of the candy cocoons, they haul it over to the police station. Officer Dave, the earnest Dudley Do-Right who just happens to be Debbie's ex, is Willing To Believe. Officer Dean Wormer? Not so much. Wormer spends the rest of the film convinced that this is all a giant practical joke being played on him, looking over the chaos with a look on his face that says, "The time has come for someone to put his foot down. And that foot is me."
Meanwhile, the Killer Klowns follow our "teens" into town, and macabre hilarity ensues.
"I made it though Korea, I can make it though this bullshit." -- Officer Dean Wormer
From this point on, the film becomes a fairly traditional Adults Never Believe the Kids kind of storyline as Mike and Debbie -- later aided by Mike's ice cream selling idiot buddies -- try to convince people that the town is being invaded by aliens... that look like clowns. That last bit doesn't exactly help their cause. Mixed in with the action are random scenes of creepy clown mayhem. Somehow, none of the victims notice or seem to mind that these clowns are supernaturally tall and have large, jagged fangs. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that's intentional.
I'm sure the Fun House-style setting for the climax was intentional, too, but that's also the point where the movie starts to drag. If I was a properly-trained movie critic, I'd probably theorize that pulling the action out of small town Americana robbed the film of anything the audience could relate to. But I'm not a properly-trained movie critic, so there's a good chance I'm just talking out of my ass.
Obviously,a film titled Killer Klowns From Outer Space contains a healthy amount of cheesiness, from the sped-up car chase to the interior of the Klowns ship that was obviously shot in a studio and cobbled together with furniture from Chuck E. Cheese and an all-you-can-use dry ice machine to virtually everything that came out of the ice cream dolts' mouths. Having said that, what struck me about this movie -- and maybe it's a sign that I've seen too many bad movies -- was the overall high quality of the film's production.
'Course, the next thing that struck me is that I should have had more to drink before watching this film.
Which of these clowns haunts Nolahn's dreams? ALL OF THEM. Clowns are f'n creepy.