BARGAIN BIN REVIEW
Reviewing the movies
no one else will touch.
no one else will touch.
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KILLER KLOWNS FROM
OUTER SPACE
* * * * (1988, 86 minutes, Rated PG-13)
An Amerikan Klassik
"I'll be greased up and fried! What in the blue blazes is the circus doing up in these parts?"
-- Farmer "I'm surprised I didn't poke the alien with a stick" Gene Green
Good question. We open on a typical Friday night in a small-town Americana college town, during
those innocent days of the 1980s. It feels so fresh-faced (How fresh-faced is it?!?), that this could
almost be the 1950s instead of the 1980s -- that was probably done on purpose, since much of the
film is a parody of The Blob.
Adding to the nostalgia: One of the first characters we meet is a cop played by... Dean Wormer!
Officer Wormer watches teenage youths run about enjoying their teenage years with a look of utter
contempt and disgust (much like the look I'd give as a kid when forced to attend my sisters' dance
recitals). When two kids complain abut Officer Wormer arresting them for breaking the open
container laws, you half expect him to say, "Cut the horseshit, son. I've got your disciplinary files
right here. Who dropped a whole truckload of fizzies into the swim meet? Who delivered the
medical school cadavers to the alumni dinner?"
"Teenage" couple Mike and Debbie are at the local make-out place, making out in an inflatable
raft (note to self: buy inflatable raft) when they spot a shooting star that appears to have landed
nearby. The two go hunting for it and instead find a circus tent which -- as you might have
guessed from the title -- is more than just a circus tent. The tent is staffed with a platoon of aliens
that have wholly and completely adopted the entire "creepy-ass clown" theme, they're like a pack
of junior varsity comic book villains. Let's do a quick inventory:
OUTER SPACE
* * * * (1988, 86 minutes, Rated PG-13)
An Amerikan Klassik
"I'll be greased up and fried! What in the blue blazes is the circus doing up in these parts?"
-- Farmer "I'm surprised I didn't poke the alien with a stick" Gene Green
Good question. We open on a typical Friday night in a small-town Americana college town, during
those innocent days of the 1980s. It feels so fresh-faced (How fresh-faced is it?!?), that this could
almost be the 1950s instead of the 1980s -- that was probably done on purpose, since much of the
film is a parody of The Blob.
Adding to the nostalgia: One of the first characters we meet is a cop played by... Dean Wormer!
Officer Wormer watches teenage youths run about enjoying their teenage years with a look of utter
contempt and disgust (much like the look I'd give as a kid when forced to attend my sisters' dance
recitals). When two kids complain abut Officer Wormer arresting them for breaking the open
container laws, you half expect him to say, "Cut the horseshit, son. I've got your disciplinary files
right here. Who dropped a whole truckload of fizzies into the swim meet? Who delivered the
medical school cadavers to the alumni dinner?"
"Teenage" couple Mike and Debbie are at the local make-out place, making out in an inflatable
raft (note to self: buy inflatable raft) when they spot a shooting star that appears to have landed
nearby. The two go hunting for it and instead find a circus tent which -- as you might have
guessed from the title -- is more than just a circus tent. The tent is staffed with a platoon of aliens
that have wholly and completely adopted the entire "creepy-ass clown" theme, they're like a pack
of junior varsity comic book villains. Let's do a quick inventory:
- Popcorn-shooting gun? Check.
- Sentient balloon animals? Check.
- Human victims stored in cotton candy cocoons? Check.
After Mike and Debbie get a big eyeful of the Death Star layout inside the circus tent and find a
friend in one of the candy cocoons, they haul it over to the police station. Officer Dave, the earnest
Dudley Do-Right who just happens to be Debbie's ex, is Willing To Believe. Officer Dean
Wormer? Not so much. Wormer spends the rest of the film convinced that this is all a giant
practical joke being played on him, looking over the chaos with a look on his face that says, "The
time has come for someone to put his foot down. And that foot is me."
Meanwhile, the Killer Klowns follow our "teens" into town, and macabre hilarity ensues.
"I made it though Korea, I can make it though this bullshit."
-- Officer Dean Wormer
From this point on, the film becomes a fairly traditional Adults Never Believe the Kids kind of
storyline as Mike and Debbie -- later aided by Mike's ice cream selling idiot buddies -- try to
convince people that the town is being invaded by aliens... that look like clowns. That last bit
doesn't exactly help their cause. Mixed in with the action are random scenes of creepy clown
mayhem. Somehow, none of the victims notice or seem to mind that these clowns are
supernaturally tall and have large, jagged fangs. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that's
intentional.
I'm sure the Fun House-style setting for the climax was intentional, too, but that's also the point
where the movie starts to drag. If I was a properly-trained movie critic, I'd probably theorize that
pulling the action out of small town Americana robbed the film of anything the audience could
relate to. But I'm not a properly-trained movie critic, so there's a good chance I'm just talking out of
my ass.
Obviously,a film titled Killer Klowns From Outer Space contains a healthy amount of cheesiness,
from the sped-up car chase to the interior of the Klowns ship that was obviously shot in a studio
and cobbled together with furniture from Chuck E. Cheese and an all-you-can-use dry ice
machine to virtually everything that came out of the ice cream dolts' mouths. Having said that,
what struck me about this movie -- and maybe it's a sign that I've seen too many bad movies --
was the overall high quality of the film's production.
'Course, the next thing that struck me is that I should have had more to drink before watching this
film.
friend in one of the candy cocoons, they haul it over to the police station. Officer Dave, the earnest
Dudley Do-Right who just happens to be Debbie's ex, is Willing To Believe. Officer Dean
Wormer? Not so much. Wormer spends the rest of the film convinced that this is all a giant
practical joke being played on him, looking over the chaos with a look on his face that says, "The
time has come for someone to put his foot down. And that foot is me."
Meanwhile, the Killer Klowns follow our "teens" into town, and macabre hilarity ensues.
"I made it though Korea, I can make it though this bullshit."
-- Officer Dean Wormer
From this point on, the film becomes a fairly traditional Adults Never Believe the Kids kind of
storyline as Mike and Debbie -- later aided by Mike's ice cream selling idiot buddies -- try to
convince people that the town is being invaded by aliens... that look like clowns. That last bit
doesn't exactly help their cause. Mixed in with the action are random scenes of creepy clown
mayhem. Somehow, none of the victims notice or seem to mind that these clowns are
supernaturally tall and have large, jagged fangs. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that's
intentional.
I'm sure the Fun House-style setting for the climax was intentional, too, but that's also the point
where the movie starts to drag. If I was a properly-trained movie critic, I'd probably theorize that
pulling the action out of small town Americana robbed the film of anything the audience could
relate to. But I'm not a properly-trained movie critic, so there's a good chance I'm just talking out of
my ass.
Obviously,a film titled Killer Klowns From Outer Space contains a healthy amount of cheesiness,
from the sped-up car chase to the interior of the Klowns ship that was obviously shot in a studio
and cobbled together with furniture from Chuck E. Cheese and an all-you-can-use dry ice
machine to virtually everything that came out of the ice cream dolts' mouths. Having said that,
what struck me about this movie -- and maybe it's a sign that I've seen too many bad movies --
was the overall high quality of the film's production.
'Course, the next thing that struck me is that I should have had more to drink before watching this
film.
| Which of these clowns haunts Nolahn's dreams? ALL OF THEM. Clowns are f'n creepy. |
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