HELL OF THE LIVING DEAD
aka NIGHT OF THE ZOMBIES
aka VIRUS
aka ZOMBIE CREEPING FLESH
aka ZOMBIE 2
* (1981, 103 minutes, Unrated)
Call it what you want -- this movie sucks.
It's a bad sign when the Netflix synopsis refers to the feature in your hands as an "impossibly
bad movie."
But it's a much worse sign when, in the opening scene of said movie, the reactor guy says the
needle on the Geiger counter is "going off the scale"... and it is clearly visible that the same
actor turning a dial to make the needle bounce around.
*Sigh* Here's the plot, such as it is: In New Guinea, the HOPE chemical plant is covertly
running one of those terrible experiments that's bound to go badly, yada yada yada... ZOMBIES!
Meanwhile, our "good guys" consist of a SWAT team in day-glo blue uniforms, armed with
tommy guns. They're just like the A-Team, except they needlessly kill people. For example,
aka NIGHT OF THE ZOMBIES
aka VIRUS
aka ZOMBIE CREEPING FLESH
aka ZOMBIE 2
* (1981, 103 minutes, Unrated)
Call it what you want -- this movie sucks.
It's a bad sign when the Netflix synopsis refers to the feature in your hands as an "impossibly
bad movie."
But it's a much worse sign when, in the opening scene of said movie, the reactor guy says the
needle on the Geiger counter is "going off the scale"... and it is clearly visible that the same
actor turning a dial to make the needle bounce around.
*Sigh* Here's the plot, such as it is: In New Guinea, the HOPE chemical plant is covertly
running one of those terrible experiments that's bound to go badly, yada yada yada... ZOMBIES!
Meanwhile, our "good guys" consist of a SWAT team in day-glo blue uniforms, armed with
tommy guns. They're just like the A-Team, except they needlessly kill people. For example,
while sneaking into a terrorist-controlled
embassy, they quietly creep up behind one
terrorist and quietly knock him out... and
then shoot him a dozen times anyway.
While the SWAT guys are on vacation (?) in
New Guinea, they meet up with a TV
reporter and her cameraman. Together,
the six travel the countryside, encountering
stock footage and packs of roaming
zombies everywhere they go.
It would be quicker and easier for me to
talk about what does work in this film. The
visual effects for the gore work nicely in that
classic George Romero sense. And
there's a scene where the TV reporter jogs
around topless that appealed to the part of
me that hasn't matured past the age of 14.
Everything else sucked.
embassy, they quietly creep up behind one
terrorist and quietly knock him out... and
then shoot him a dozen times anyway.
While the SWAT guys are on vacation (?) in
New Guinea, they meet up with a TV
reporter and her cameraman. Together,
the six travel the countryside, encountering
stock footage and packs of roaming
zombies everywhere they go.
It would be quicker and easier for me to
talk about what does work in this film. The
visual effects for the gore work nicely in that
classic George Romero sense. And
there's a scene where the TV reporter jogs
around topless that appealed to the part of
me that hasn't matured past the age of 14.
Everything else sucked.
| The A-Team, '80s TV icons (above), do not appear in this film. |
My mother hates that word, but she didn't have to sit through this movie. The editing sucked, the
acting sucked, and boy howdy, the dialogue sucked. Bad dubbing, too. You want to talk about
sound effects? When the zombies bite into someone, it sounds like crunched Styrofoam.
Production values? There's a priceless scene late in the film where the U.N. is debating what
to do about the zombie outbreak in New Guinea. And by "U.N.," I mean a dozen actors in
cultural garb yelling at each other and throwing papers around in a giant lecture hall. Just like
the real U.N.!
And then there's the stock footage. There has to be at least 20 minutes worth of stock footage
padding this movie -- footage of native rituals, animals running about in the jungle, etc. The
footage was certainly nothing that furthered the story, and it made the switch back to the actors
in the arid, So Not New Guinea that much more jarring. At least I had something to fast forward.
This film really surprised me. I always figured, how hard could it be to make a decent zombie
movie? Now I know.
Looking for a second opinion? Check out the reviews of this movie on BadMovies.org.
acting sucked, and boy howdy, the dialogue sucked. Bad dubbing, too. You want to talk about
sound effects? When the zombies bite into someone, it sounds like crunched Styrofoam.
Production values? There's a priceless scene late in the film where the U.N. is debating what
to do about the zombie outbreak in New Guinea. And by "U.N.," I mean a dozen actors in
cultural garb yelling at each other and throwing papers around in a giant lecture hall. Just like
the real U.N.!
And then there's the stock footage. There has to be at least 20 minutes worth of stock footage
padding this movie -- footage of native rituals, animals running about in the jungle, etc. The
footage was certainly nothing that furthered the story, and it made the switch back to the actors
in the arid, So Not New Guinea that much more jarring. At least I had something to fast forward.
This film really surprised me. I always figured, how hard could it be to make a decent zombie
movie? Now I know.
Looking for a second opinion? Check out the reviews of this movie on BadMovies.org.
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