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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME
* * * (1981, 110 minutes, Rated R)
An early birthday gift for me.
IN A HURRY? CHECK OUT OUR MINI-REVIEW IN THE UTICA OBSERVER-DISPATCH!
When Jason Soto of Invasion of the B-Movies first told me that he wanted to cover this film for Lair
of the Unwanted, I thought it was going to be just another cheesy ‘80s horror flick. After all, I
thought the plot sounded like a million other horror movies I’ve seen. I thought, if we’re lucky, this
will be like a low-rent version of April Fool’s Day.
I shouldn’t think so much.
Meet Virginia. “Ginny” and her really cool friends make up “The Top 10,” the richest kids and
choicest clique at Generic Private School. We first meet the nine “kids” (#10 is killed off in the
federally mandated pre-credits murder) out at the local watering hole, where a bunch of Shriners
are singing all one hundred lyrics to “100 Bottles of Beer on the Wall.” I can’t imagine how drunk
you’d have to be to think that’s fun.
* * * (1981, 110 minutes, Rated R)
An early birthday gift for me.
IN A HURRY? CHECK OUT OUR MINI-REVIEW IN THE UTICA OBSERVER-DISPATCH!
When Jason Soto of Invasion of the B-Movies first told me that he wanted to cover this film for Lair
of the Unwanted, I thought it was going to be just another cheesy ‘80s horror flick. After all, I
thought the plot sounded like a million other horror movies I’ve seen. I thought, if we’re lucky, this
will be like a low-rent version of April Fool’s Day.
I shouldn’t think so much.
Meet Virginia. “Ginny” and her really cool friends make up “The Top 10,” the richest kids and
choicest clique at Generic Private School. We first meet the nine “kids” (#10 is killed off in the
federally mandated pre-credits murder) out at the local watering hole, where a bunch of Shriners
are singing all one hundred lyrics to “100 Bottles of Beer on the Wall.” I can’t imagine how drunk
you’d have to be to think that’s fun.
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After getting kicked out for starting a fight with the drunk Shriners -- they’re not just rich kids, they’re
hooligans! -- The Top 10 go off to play the kind of stupid versions of chicken that only kids in the
movies play. In this case, the game involves driving over a draw bridge as it’s opening up. Ginny,
the calm and cute center of our film (played by Melissa Sue Anderson, aka Mary Ingalls from “Little
hooligans! -- The Top 10 go off to play the kind of stupid versions of chicken that only kids in the
movies play. In this case, the game involves driving over a draw bridge as it’s opening up. Ginny,
the calm and cute center of our film (played by Melissa Sue Anderson, aka Mary Ingalls from “Little
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| A Shriner gang (above), cruising for trouble. |
House on the Prairie”), is understandably freaked
out and goes home.
I want to talk about this next scene in great,
spoiler-ific detail, because this is the moment
where the movie seriously steps up its game.
One of the guys from The Top 10 follows Ginny
back to her place, scrambles up the side of her
house and in through her bedroom window. The
music is all suspenseful, but the whole time you’
re thinking, “Shut up, music. We’re about to learn
that the intruder is her boyfriend looking for some
late night nookie.” We don’t know that -- we’ve
only just me the main characters -- but how often
out and goes home.
I want to talk about this next scene in great,
spoiler-ific detail, because this is the moment
where the movie seriously steps up its game.
One of the guys from The Top 10 follows Ginny
back to her place, scrambles up the side of her
house and in through her bedroom window. The
music is all suspenseful, but the whole time you’
re thinking, “Shut up, music. We’re about to learn
that the intruder is her boyfriend looking for some
late night nookie.” We don’t know that -- we’ve
only just me the main characters -- but how often
| Ms. Sue Anderson (above), considering her post-"Little House" career. |
have we seen this set-up? Ginny comes enters her room and starts getting ready for bed, but the
guy stays hidden. And we’re still thinking, “Whatever, he’s just waiting for Ginny to pop out her
sweater puppies. Shut up, movie.“ We gets lots of point-of-views from her closet, and when Ginny
goes to the closet… he’s not there. No jump-scare, but he’s still in the room, hiding somewhere
else. At this point, it’s obvious that the guy isn’t her boyfriend -- he’s been hidden way too long,
and the scene has now built some real, honest-to-goodness suspense.
Believe it or not, Happy Birthday To Me plays more like a mystery than a standard slasher film.
There's the mystery of what's happening to the members of The Top 10, of course. At least the
audience is wondering. No one seems particularly concerned when #10 never shows up
anywhere, nor do they seem to think anything of it when another of The Top 10 disappears. Really
compassionate group, these kids (but for what it’s worth, that’s done intentionally).
There's also a mystery surrounding Ginny. We learn that Ginny and her mom were in a serious
car accident a few years prior, killing her mother and putting Ginny in a coma. It was only with an
experimental technique to repair her brain that Ginny came out of the coma, but she has spots of
missing memory such as exactly what happened the night of the accident.
It doesn’t take long before we have a number of mysteries running at once:
guy stays hidden. And we’re still thinking, “Whatever, he’s just waiting for Ginny to pop out her
sweater puppies. Shut up, movie.“ We gets lots of point-of-views from her closet, and when Ginny
goes to the closet… he’s not there. No jump-scare, but he’s still in the room, hiding somewhere
else. At this point, it’s obvious that the guy isn’t her boyfriend -- he’s been hidden way too long,
and the scene has now built some real, honest-to-goodness suspense.
Believe it or not, Happy Birthday To Me plays more like a mystery than a standard slasher film.
There's the mystery of what's happening to the members of The Top 10, of course. At least the
audience is wondering. No one seems particularly concerned when #10 never shows up
anywhere, nor do they seem to think anything of it when another of The Top 10 disappears. Really
compassionate group, these kids (but for what it’s worth, that’s done intentionally).
There's also a mystery surrounding Ginny. We learn that Ginny and her mom were in a serious
car accident a few years prior, killing her mother and putting Ginny in a coma. It was only with an
experimental technique to repair her brain that Ginny came out of the coma, but she has spots of
missing memory such as exactly what happened the night of the accident.
It doesn’t take long before we have a number of mysteries running at once:
- What exactly happened the night of Ginny’s car accident?
- Who is the Killer?
- What is the Killer doing with the victims?
- How did the Killer become such an expect in cleaning up crime scenes? Because it’s not
enough for the Killer to be running about killing people, no one realizes what’s going on.
Regardless of how elaborate or bloody the death is, the scene is absolutely spotless in
time for other characters to show up? - What inspired the Killer to wear white sneakers with the all-black attire?
| The Official Footwear of '80s Killers |
Sadly, that last mystery is never solved.
Equally tragic is the major WTF twist at the end.
In fact, “twist” is too kind of a word, unless the
twist involves pliers, an Indian burn and hot
sauce. I’m certain the ending derails the entire
movie for some people, but the film was enough
of a pleasant surprise for me to give the ending a
pass.
In summary, Happy Birthday To Me is a pretty
good movie. No, not award-worthy or anything
that redefines the genre, but certainly not bad-
good. Just… pretty good.
Equally tragic is the major WTF twist at the end.
In fact, “twist” is too kind of a word, unless the
twist involves pliers, an Indian burn and hot
sauce. I’m certain the ending derails the entire
movie for some people, but the film was enough
of a pleasant surprise for me to give the ending a
pass.
In summary, Happy Birthday To Me is a pretty
good movie. No, not award-worthy or anything
that redefines the genre, but certainly not bad-
good. Just… pretty good.
Looking for more about this movie? Then may we suggest you check out
the following...
An interview with one of the film's stars at FATALLY YOURS
Fred [The Wolf]'s review at FULL MOON REVIEWS
The review over at HELLHORROR.COM
Jose's review at STRICTLY SPLATTER
The in-depth discussion of the film in Episode 13 of THE LAIR OF THE
UNWANTED
the following...
An interview with one of the film's stars at FATALLY YOURS
Fred [The Wolf]'s review at FULL MOON REVIEWS
The review over at HELLHORROR.COM
Jose's review at STRICTLY SPLATTER
The in-depth discussion of the film in Episode 13 of THE LAIR OF THE
UNWANTED