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GODZILLA VS. MEGALON
* * * * (1973, 81 minutes, Rated G)
"We'll warn the scientists."
IIt’s strange. For a character that started off as a very grim avatar of nuclear holocaust, Godzilla
somehow morphed into an incredibly kid-friendly by the 1970s. That kid-friendly Godzilla is in full
effect in Godzilla vs. Megalon, which plays like one of the most dashed together films of the series.
Early on, we join an inventor on a lakeside picnic with his short-shorts wearin’ son and racecar
driving, uh, good friend? Suddenly, earthquake! The short-shorts wearin‘ son and his comically
oversized paddleboat are in danger, but fortunately, the inventor packed a rocket with 50 feet of
uncoiled rope. The lad is saved, but the lake is completely sucked into the earth’s crust, never to
be mentioned again.
Whatever! We learn the inventor has been working on a robot with a permasmile named Jet
* * * * (1973, 81 minutes, Rated G)
"We'll warn the scientists."
IIt’s strange. For a character that started off as a very grim avatar of nuclear holocaust, Godzilla
somehow morphed into an incredibly kid-friendly by the 1970s. That kid-friendly Godzilla is in full
effect in Godzilla vs. Megalon, which plays like one of the most dashed together films of the series.
Early on, we join an inventor on a lakeside picnic with his short-shorts wearin’ son and racecar
driving, uh, good friend? Suddenly, earthquake! The short-shorts wearin‘ son and his comically
oversized paddleboat are in danger, but fortunately, the inventor packed a rocket with 50 feet of
uncoiled rope. The lad is saved, but the lake is completely sucked into the earth’s crust, never to
be mentioned again.
Whatever! We learn the inventor has been working on a robot with a permasmile named Jet
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THE ROAD TO B-MOVIES
PART V: INTRO TO MST3K
I was in college when someone showed me the Gamera vs. Guiron episode of Mystery Science
Theater 3000.
The show was a revelation -- I loved it and was instantly hooked. It was fairly early in the run of
the show, maybe around Season 4, on Comedy Central with Joel. I think because of that, I’ve
always preferred the Joel episodes to the ones with Mike Nelson, the same way an old school
Van Halen fan might prefer David Lee Roth to Sammy Hagar.
I don’t know that there’s much that needs saying about MST3K that hasn’t been already said,
except that was probably inevitable that the show would make an appearance in my ROAD TO
B-MOVIES and become a big influence on The ‘Bin.
The film reviewed below is from my all-time favorite episode of MST3K. My copy currently
resides on a well-worn VHS tape with the “Powdered Toast Man” episode of Ren & Stimpy,
perhaps the greatest episode of The People’s Court (with Judge Wapner presiding) and a
variety of music videos that I’m embarrassed to admit are on the tape.
PART V: INTRO TO MST3K
I was in college when someone showed me the Gamera vs. Guiron episode of Mystery Science
Theater 3000.
The show was a revelation -- I loved it and was instantly hooked. It was fairly early in the run of
the show, maybe around Season 4, on Comedy Central with Joel. I think because of that, I’ve
always preferred the Joel episodes to the ones with Mike Nelson, the same way an old school
Van Halen fan might prefer David Lee Roth to Sammy Hagar.
I don’t know that there’s much that needs saying about MST3K that hasn’t been already said,
except that was probably inevitable that the show would make an appearance in my ROAD TO
B-MOVIES and become a big influence on The ‘Bin.
The film reviewed below is from my all-time favorite episode of MST3K. My copy currently
resides on a well-worn VHS tape with the “Powdered Toast Man” episode of Ren & Stimpy,
perhaps the greatest episode of The People’s Court (with Judge Wapner presiding) and a
variety of music videos that I’m embarrassed to admit are on the tape.
agents and our racecar drivin’ good buddy. I'm not sure that these the most incompetently shot car
chases, but they’re definitely in the top five.
In case you’ve somehow never heard of it, Seatopia is an Atlantis-like civilization that has existed
under water near Easter Island for thousands of years. Unfortunately, the increasing amount of
pollution in earth’s oceans have forced Seatopia’s toga-clad emperor to declare war and unleash
Megalon! Our headliner is just like the Kraken, except it kinda looks like a giant cockroach with (as
MTS3K’s Crow observes) Chrysler Building arms.
chases, but they’re definitely in the top five.
In case you’ve somehow never heard of it, Seatopia is an Atlantis-like civilization that has existed
under water near Easter Island for thousands of years. Unfortunately, the increasing amount of
pollution in earth’s oceans have forced Seatopia’s toga-clad emperor to declare war and unleash
Megalon! Our headliner is just like the Kraken, except it kinda looks like a giant cockroach with (as
MTS3K’s Crow observes) Chrysler Building arms.
Looking for a second opinion on Godzilla vs. Megalon? See what one of our
Friends of The Bin, THEGREATWHITEDOPE'S MECHA-BLOG-ZILLA and WTF-
FILM.COM, had to say.
Godzilla vs. Megalon is part of Nolahn’s ROAD TO B-MOVIES series, an
examination of the films that led him to review bad films. Make sure you
check out the other entries in this series:
PART I: THE FIRST MOVIE
PART II: THE RED FLAG
PART III: THE EYE-OPENER
PART IV: ALL THE COOL KIDS ARE DOIN’ IT
PART V: INTRO TO MST3K
PART VI: THE GOLD STANDARD
PART VII: THE SPOILER
PART VIII: THE LAST STRAW
Friends of The Bin, THEGREATWHITEDOPE'S MECHA-BLOG-ZILLA and WTF-
FILM.COM, had to say.
Godzilla vs. Megalon is part of Nolahn’s ROAD TO B-MOVIES series, an
examination of the films that led him to review bad films. Make sure you
check out the other entries in this series:
PART I: THE FIRST MOVIE
PART II: THE RED FLAG
PART III: THE EYE-OPENER
PART IV: ALL THE COOL KIDS ARE DOIN’ IT
PART V: INTRO TO MST3K
PART VI: THE GOLD STANDARD
PART VII: THE SPOILER
PART VIII: THE LAST STRAW
Jaguar. Its apparently a multi-talented robot,
as we eventually learn that Jet Jaguar can:
With such an array of functions, it’s no wonder
that the great undersea nation of Seatopia
wants to steal Jet Jaguar. This leads to
numerous car chases between Seatopian
as we eventually learn that Jet Jaguar can:
- Serve as a camera
- Get out of people’s way with its
avoidance system - Fly
- Be voice controlled through a
transistor (except when it doesn’t want
to be) - Communicate with monsters
- “Program himself for survival”
- “Program himself in some way to
increase his size” - Get dizzy
With such an array of functions, it’s no wonder
that the great undersea nation of Seatopia
wants to steal Jet Jaguar. This leads to
numerous car chases between Seatopian
| Jet Jaguar (above, center) can also give piggyback rides on command. |
It takes about 20 minutes of screen time, but the King of All Monsters does finally show up for an
epic tornado tag match. The battle in Godzilla vs. Megalon is much longer than in most Godzilla
movies (perhaps to make up for the opening hour of incoherence) and it goes heavy on the
pyrotechnics, but it’s all very kid-friendly. I mean, check out how the battle ends:
epic tornado tag match. The battle in Godzilla vs. Megalon is much longer than in most Godzilla
movies (perhaps to make up for the opening hour of incoherence) and it goes heavy on the
pyrotechnics, but it’s all very kid-friendly. I mean, check out how the battle ends:
| Told you so. |
Also, Seatopia throws in
Gigan, because what the
hell.
That may be just as well,
because during the
obligatory army versus
monster sequence,
Japan’s armed forces
actually manage to drive
Megalon out of the
immediate vicinity. A
short bit later, a now
enlarged Jet Jaguar
pretty much beats the tar
out of Megalon --
Godzilla wouldn’t even
be needed if Gigan didn’t
show up.
Gigan, because what the
hell.
That may be just as well,
because during the
obligatory army versus
monster sequence,
Japan’s armed forces
actually manage to drive
Megalon out of the
immediate vicinity. A
short bit later, a now
enlarged Jet Jaguar
pretty much beats the tar
out of Megalon --
Godzilla wouldn’t even
be needed if Gigan didn’t
show up.
And so: the bad monsters run away, Godzilla declares it Miller Time, and the inventor announces
that he’ll “warn the scientists” about the danger they pose to Seatopia. The music tells us that’ll
work out just fine, just like it would in real life.
Yes, Godzilla vs. Megalon is a very silly movie… even for a Godzilla movie.
that he’ll “warn the scientists” about the danger they pose to Seatopia. The music tells us that’ll
work out just fine, just like it would in real life.
Yes, Godzilla vs. Megalon is a very silly movie… even for a Godzilla movie.