THE GIANT CLAW
* * * * (1957, 75 minutes, Unrated)
It's a case of classic sci-fi gone to the birds.

Man, I love these kind of films.  The late '50s and '60s are littered with sci-fi thrillers about how
some new-fangled science made some every-day animal 50 times its size.  And then, after a few
choice deaths and a significant amount of collateral damage, we all learn an Important Lesson in
tampering with the laws of God.  We see this
over and over and over again.

I'm tempted to say that
The Giant Claw is much of the same, but it's a bit more special than that.

The new-fangled science in question here is radar (always referred to here as "ray-dar").  We start
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off in the Arctic, where hot shot test pilot Mitch (Jeff
Morrow) is Mavericking around while his mathematician
girlfriend, Sally (Playboy Playmate Mara Corday), figures
out all the ray-dar stuff.  

During his flight, Mitch sees a UFO "as big as a
battleship."  Get used to that -- the creature at the heart
of this film is referred to as a "battleship" at least a half
dozen times.  The UFO is kept intentionally out of focus
for a while, making it look like a used Brillo pad.

Mitch reports it in, and gets himself into all sorts of
trouble for his efforts.  That is, until other planes start
disappearing...

The movie spends some time with Mitch and Sally
bantering and trying to sort things out.  And then, 27
minutes in, we get to see our Big Bad:
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Mara Corday
They just don't make
mathematicians like they used to.
Yes, really.  Drink it in.
The Giant Claw
I could try to be kind and understanding, and chalk this thing up to the limited special effects of the
age.  But no -- even by 1957 standards, this ridiculous buzzard puppet was a joke.

Apparently, the plan was to have Ray Harryhausen create a stop-motion version of the bird.  And
then they ran out of money.  None of the stars had any idea of what the creature looked like until the
premiere.  Years later, Morrow said that the audience at the premiere laughed so hard every time
The Giant Claw
this thing showed up on the screen that he
slipped out of the theater during the film so no
one would recognize him.

The Army goes through its standard responses:
1) Fire everything, 2) Freak out when that doesn't
work.  Amazingly, there’s no To Nuke Or Not To
Nuke conversation, but there is a lot of exciting
Stock Footage vs. Buzzard Puppet sequences.
Awesomely, it's not enough for the Buzzard
Puppet to knock planes out of the sky -- it has to
swoop in and gobble up the people who tried to
Jeff Morrow is test pilot Mitch in The Giant Claw
Mitch (Jeff Morrow), preparing to fly in
to the Danger Zone.
parachute to safety.  When the Army fails to stop the Buzzard Puppet, the only response is: “It’s
hard to come up with answers when you don’t even know what the question is.”  

While you‘re letting that jewel of wisdom sink in, let me note that there is a lot -- A LOT -- of
bewilderment over the inability to track the battleship-sized Buzzard Puppet with modern-day
radar.  It can’t fail --
it’s radar.  
Radar O Reilly from MASH
Not this kind of Radar.
That means it’s time to call in a Mr. Science Guy
to science things up, and what better way to do
that than to bring the action to a screeching half
with a lecture on anti-matter.  Based solely on the
Army’s one-time experience and a feather that fell
off the Puppet, our egghead theorizes that the
Buzzard Puppet is surrounded by an anti-matter
shield.  Of course, any high school biology
teacher can tell you that‘s true of most giant
buzzards.  

But wait, there’s more!  

“That bird is extra-terrestrial.  It comes from outer
space… From some God-forsaken anti-matter galaxy billions and billions of light years from the
earth.  No other explanation is possible.”  

Naturally.

As the laughable Buzzard Puppet continues its “fantastic orgy of attacks,” Mitch goes to work using
his brain parts to develop “one of those cock-eyed concepts you pull out of Cloud Eight
somewhere.”  Can you tell that I just loved the dialogue in this film?

The final stretch of the film is filled with attack orgy-goodness (so to speak), featuring the Buzzard
Puppet swooping down low to gobble up people, doing a Kong impersonation and even eating a
Styrofoam U.N. Building (take that, world peace!).  That’s when our heroes put Mitch’s plan into
action -- the world’s best and brightest were stupefied, but a test pilot has all the answers -- and
there’s time for one final cliché image that’s so cheesy, it… fits right in with the rest of the film.

So: A few choice deaths?  Check.  A significant amount of collateral damage?  Check.  The
important lesson we all learn?  Always budget accordingly for your special effects.
Looking for a second opinion on
The Giant Claw?  Check out the
reviews by these Friends of The 'Bin:

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