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FOR Y'UR HEIGHT ONLY
* * * (1981, 87 minutes, Unrated)
"Very petite, like a potato."
From the Austin Powers movies to the 1967 comedy Casino Royale, James Bond spoofs have
been around almost as long as James Bond movies. But I’m pretty sure this is the only one
starring a 2-foo-9 Filipino martial artist.
No, there wasn’t a typo in that last sentence.
* * * (1981, 87 minutes, Unrated)
"Very petite, like a potato."
From the Austin Powers movies to the 1967 comedy Casino Royale, James Bond spoofs have
been around almost as long as James Bond movies. But I’m pretty sure this is the only one
starring a 2-foo-9 Filipino martial artist.
No, there wasn’t a typo in that last sentence.
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The action kicks off with the day-time
kidnapping of a scientist. The kidnapping is
masterminded by “Mr. Giant” so the scientist
can make him a fearsome “N-bomb” and
take over the world. Cue the maniacal
laughter.
Mr. Giant only communicates through a lit-up
mirror, something even his minions find
perplexing. When they start grousing, one of
Giant’s lieutenants gives this pep talk: “The
forces of good are our sworn enemy, and I
repeat [no, he didn’t - Nolahn]: they must be
exterminated -- and I mean literally!”
kidnapping of a scientist. The kidnapping is
masterminded by “Mr. Giant” so the scientist
can make him a fearsome “N-bomb” and
take over the world. Cue the maniacal
laughter.
Mr. Giant only communicates through a lit-up
mirror, something even his minions find
perplexing. When they start grousing, one of
Giant’s lieutenants gives this pep talk: “The
forces of good are our sworn enemy, and I
repeat [no, he didn’t - Nolahn]: they must be
exterminated -- and I mean literally!”
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| Agent 00 (Weng Weng), ready for action. |
Yeah, I’ll be quoting lots and lots of awesome dubbing from this film.
So with a random scientist missing, who you gonna call? Agent 00 (Weng Weng), currently
lamping out by the pool with a pair of bikini-clad honeys. You see, Agent 00 is exactly like Agent
So with a random scientist missing, who you gonna call? Agent 00 (Weng Weng), currently
lamping out by the pool with a pair of bikini-clad honeys. You see, Agent 00 is exactly like Agent
| Agent 00 (Weng Weng), chillin'. |
007, but shorter. When his watch starts
beeping, Agent 00 takes a look and sees that
the little hand says it’s time to rock and roll.
But first! Agent 00 saves a random hottie
from being shot, and agrees to help her take
out the gang that’s trying to scare her into
being their prostitute. That night, Agent 00 is
all tiny feet of fury while sneaking around the
hideout in his little white leisure suit.
While tracking down the gang’s boss, Agent
00 and the random hottie (Lola) have the
most disorientating phone conversation I’ve
ever witnessed:
beeping, Agent 00 takes a look and sees that
the little hand says it’s time to rock and roll.
But first! Agent 00 saves a random hottie
from being shot, and agrees to help her take
out the gang that’s trying to scare her into
being their prostitute. That night, Agent 00 is
all tiny feet of fury while sneaking around the
hideout in his little white leisure suit.
While tracking down the gang’s boss, Agent
00 and the random hottie (Lola) have the
most disorientating phone conversation I’ve
ever witnessed:
Agent 00: “Hello, Lola. Now listen carefully -- this is important.”
Lola: “Interesting.”
Agent 00: “Check it out.”
Lola: “I’ll go right now.”
Agent 00: “Meet you there.”
Lola: “Interesting.”
Agent 00: “Check it out.”
Lola: “I’ll go right now.”
Agent 00: “Meet you there.”
Once that completely irrelevant mission is wrapped up, Agent 00 is assigned to save the scientist
and loaded up with Bondian gadgets. Check out the scene -- I swear, the actor playing Agent 00’s
superior made up his dialogue as he went along.
and loaded up with Bondian gadgets. Check out the scene -- I swear, the actor playing Agent 00’s
superior made up his dialogue as he went along.
Agent 00 eventually makes contact with the agent undercover in Mr. Giant’s gang, Irma. She’s just
as surprised by Agent 00 as the audience: “You’re just a little guy… Very petite, like a potato.”
He may be “petite, like a potato,” but Agent 00 is all business and quickly sets to taking down Mr.
Giant’s operations, delivering scores to shots to the knees and groin in the process. Don’t worry:
Agent 00 still finds time shake his groove thang in a disco, hook up with a couple of ladies and fly
around in a tiny jetpack (a la Thunderball).
as surprised by Agent 00 as the audience: “You’re just a little guy… Very petite, like a potato.”
He may be “petite, like a potato,” but Agent 00 is all business and quickly sets to taking down Mr.
Giant’s operations, delivering scores to shots to the knees and groin in the process. Don’t worry:
Agent 00 still finds time shake his groove thang in a disco, hook up with a couple of ladies and fly
around in a tiny jetpack (a la Thunderball).
| Agent 00 (Weng Weng), cruisin'. |
What I found interesting about For Y’ur Height
Only is that, aside from the absurd dubbing, the
film plays like a straightforward spy flick. Oh, it’s
plenty silly and exploitative, but you never forget
that this is an action movie first and foremost.
And Weng Weng is very much up to the task.
In fact, my one gripe with the film is that there’s
too much action. The pace of the film quickly
falls into a predictable and relentless pattern:
the first scene contains just enough exposition
to set up all the action in the second scene.
Wash, rinse, repeat. As a result, I started to feel
every second of the 87-minute run time.
Only is that, aside from the absurd dubbing, the
film plays like a straightforward spy flick. Oh, it’s
plenty silly and exploitative, but you never forget
that this is an action movie first and foremost.
And Weng Weng is very much up to the task.
In fact, my one gripe with the film is that there’s
too much action. The pace of the film quickly
falls into a predictable and relentless pattern:
the first scene contains just enough exposition
to set up all the action in the second scene.
Wash, rinse, repeat. As a result, I started to feel
every second of the 87-minute run time.
Pacing aside, For Y’ur Height Only is a lot of fun. And speaking of fun…
Nolahn watched For Y’ur Height Only for free over at DOLLAR MOVIE DRIVE-IN.
You can also catch a second opinion over at:
BADMOVIES.ORG
WTF-FILM.COM
You can also catch a second opinion over at:
BADMOVIES.ORG
WTF-FILM.COM