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EEGAH!
* * (1962, 90 minutes, Unrated)
The dangers of nepotism.
There are a lot of very bad movies featured on this site that start with a pretty cool idea: A monster
mash between a giant shark and giant octopus… Steven Seagal vs. vampires… A rock band is
terrorized by demons. It’s not hard to figure out how someone was able to these movies made.
A woman and her father are abducted by a cave man? Not so much. Who thought this would be
an interesting movie?
Arch Hall, Sr. apparently thought so. He helped write the film, he directed, he co-starred as the
father and he cast his son as the surf rock crooning romantic lead. And for his efforts, Papa Hall
gave us Eegah!, one of the more famously bad films ever made.
And just so you right off the bat that Eegah! will be a terrible film, the opening credits feature the
kind of incredibly fake skeletons found in Disney’s Haunted Mansion. We then meet Roxy, a hot-to-
trot young lady who has just finished up some shopping and is speeding off to the club in her
convertible when she nearly runs down “a giant.” By “a giant,” we mean Eegah!, played by a young
Richard Kiel in ridiculously fake facial hair and Barney Rubble’s wardrobe.
* * (1962, 90 minutes, Unrated)
The dangers of nepotism.
There are a lot of very bad movies featured on this site that start with a pretty cool idea: A monster
mash between a giant shark and giant octopus… Steven Seagal vs. vampires… A rock band is
terrorized by demons. It’s not hard to figure out how someone was able to these movies made.
A woman and her father are abducted by a cave man? Not so much. Who thought this would be
an interesting movie?
Arch Hall, Sr. apparently thought so. He helped write the film, he directed, he co-starred as the
father and he cast his son as the surf rock crooning romantic lead. And for his efforts, Papa Hall
gave us Eegah!, one of the more famously bad films ever made.
And just so you right off the bat that Eegah! will be a terrible film, the opening credits feature the
kind of incredibly fake skeletons found in Disney’s Haunted Mansion. We then meet Roxy, a hot-to-
trot young lady who has just finished up some shopping and is speeding off to the club in her
convertible when she nearly runs down “a giant.” By “a giant,” we mean Eegah!, played by a young
Richard Kiel in ridiculously fake facial hair and Barney Rubble’s wardrobe.
 |
The next morning, Roxy takes her dad (played by
director Arch Hall, Sr.) and her boyfriend, Tom
(played by Arch Hall, Jr.) to the site of the
encounter, and the group finds some Shaq-sized
footprints. Also, someone off-camera shouts
“Watch out for snakes!“ -- I thought that was pretty
awesome.
That’s enough to get Pop to rent a helicopter and
don shorts, dress shoes and a pith helmet in
search of the giant. That doesn’t work out so well
for him.
Because Eegah! serves not just a cautionary tale
of nepotism but of Nepotism Done Right [TM], we
get our first musical number shoehorned into the
director Arch Hall, Sr.) and her boyfriend, Tom
(played by Arch Hall, Jr.) to the site of the
encounter, and the group finds some Shaq-sized
footprints. Also, someone off-camera shouts
“Watch out for snakes!“ -- I thought that was pretty
awesome.
That’s enough to get Pop to rent a helicopter and
don shorts, dress shoes and a pith helmet in
search of the giant. That doesn’t work out so well
for him.
Because Eegah! serves not just a cautionary tale
of nepotism but of Nepotism Done Right [TM], we
get our first musical number shoehorned into the
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| Richard Kiel as Jaws, giving 007 a hug. |
film as Arch Hall, Jr. croons and croaks his way through a poolside song for his Roxy. It’s hard to
say what’s more ridiculous: his singing or his gigantic blond pompadour.
With that detour out of the way, it’s time for Tom and Roxy to pick up Pop in Tom’s “dune buggy.”
Which is really a re-purposed Model T or something -- hey, I’m not a Car Guy, but that isn’t any
say what’s more ridiculous: his singing or his gigantic blond pompadour.
With that detour out of the way, it’s time for Tom and Roxy to pick up Pop in Tom’s “dune buggy.”
Which is really a re-purposed Model T or something -- hey, I’m not a Car Guy, but that isn’t any
| Not this kind of dune buggy. |
kind of dune buggy I’ve ever seen in the history of
ever. Our lovebirds zip around pointlessly, with Roxy
yelling out “Whee!” more than that annoying kid in that
annoying Star Wars prequel.
They take a break so the director’s son can croak out
another song. Unfortunately, the horrible crooning
has drawn Eegah!’s attention (frankly, it nearly
causes his fake beard to fall off). When he gets the
chance, Eegah! takes off with the curvaceous Roxy,
leaving Tom alone and confused.
ever. Our lovebirds zip around pointlessly, with Roxy
yelling out “Whee!” more than that annoying kid in that
annoying Star Wars prequel.
They take a break so the director’s son can croak out
another song. Unfortunately, the horrible crooning
has drawn Eegah!’s attention (frankly, it nearly
causes his fake beard to fall off). When he gets the
chance, Eegah! takes off with the curvaceous Roxy,
leaving Tom alone and confused.
We’ve now reached the painful middle hour of the film.
Eegah! brings Roxy back to his place, where he’s also keeping a mildly injured Pop captive. Pop
makes absurd hypotheses, such as the sulfur water contributing to Eegah!’s long life (don’t try
that at home, kids). Eegah! shows off his cave paintings and very dead relatives to Roxy. Roxy
shaves Pop and Eegah!, and Eegah! tries to eat the shaving cream. Pop lazily suggests ways for
Roxy to avoid being raped by Eegah! It’s pretty creepy, and not in ways it was intended to be.
That goes on for an hour. Every now and then, the action is broken up by scenes of Tom and his
giant blonde pompadour stumbling around the same rock quarry where Robot Monster was shot.
The film finally builds up to a thrilling stumble around the rocks before Eegah! gets all Kong-like
and follows Roxy back to civilization. It’s there that Eegah! is mystified by such modern marvels
as doorknobs and mannequins.
Eegah! brings Roxy back to his place, where he’s also keeping a mildly injured Pop captive. Pop
makes absurd hypotheses, such as the sulfur water contributing to Eegah!’s long life (don’t try
that at home, kids). Eegah! shows off his cave paintings and very dead relatives to Roxy. Roxy
shaves Pop and Eegah!, and Eegah! tries to eat the shaving cream. Pop lazily suggests ways for
Roxy to avoid being raped by Eegah! It’s pretty creepy, and not in ways it was intended to be.
That goes on for an hour. Every now and then, the action is broken up by scenes of Tom and his
giant blonde pompadour stumbling around the same rock quarry where Robot Monster was shot.
The film finally builds up to a thrilling stumble around the rocks before Eegah! gets all Kong-like
and follows Roxy back to civilization. It’s there that Eegah! is mystified by such modern marvels
as doorknobs and mannequins.
| Fortunately for Eegah!, none of the doorknobs were demented. |
The police eventually get the call of a “large man or giant” creating a
disturbance, and you can imagine where things go from there.
Eegah! currently sits in IMDB’s Bottom 100 and is a common fixture
on bad movie lists… and not because it’s so bad it’s good.
Recommended only for members of the Arch Hall family.
Think I've been too harsh on the Arch Hall legacy?
Then perhaps you'd like a second opinion...
Bad Movie Realm
BadMovies.Org
Hell Horror
WTF-Film.com
disturbance, and you can imagine where things go from there.
Eegah! currently sits in IMDB’s Bottom 100 and is a common fixture
on bad movie lists… and not because it’s so bad it’s good.
Recommended only for members of the Arch Hall family.
Think I've been too harsh on the Arch Hall legacy?
Then perhaps you'd like a second opinion...
Bad Movie Realm
BadMovies.Org
Hell Horror
WTF-Film.com
| '11 Binnie Winner! |