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DEMONIC TOYS 2
* * (2010, 80 minutes, Unrated)
The Poor Man's Version of a Scary Movie.
I'm reviewing this film because I am a Winner.
It's true, and not just because my mom tells me so: I won a copy of Demonic Toys 2 in a recent
giveaway at the very excellent ObscureHorror.com.
* * (2010, 80 minutes, Unrated)
The Poor Man's Version of a Scary Movie.
I'm reviewing this film because I am a Winner.
It's true, and not just because my mom tells me so: I won a copy of Demonic Toys 2 in a recent
giveaway at the very excellent ObscureHorror.com.
 |
Have you been to ObscureHorror.com? It's fantastic, with an
extensive list of movies covered, interviews, giveaways and even
some old time-y radio shows. You should check it out right after
reading this review, and then pick up some ObscureHorror.com
swag.
That's Obscure Horror (one word) dot com. Tell Rich that Nolahn
sent ya.
Eh, where was I? Ayeah, reviewing my Major Award.
This movie kinda blows.
Okay, that's a bit harsh. And I should elaborate.
Demonic Toys 2 is a Full Moon Production. For the uninitiated, Full
Moon Pictures makes both kinds of horror movies: those with killer
extensive list of movies covered, interviews, giveaways and even
some old time-y radio shows. You should check it out right after
reading this review, and then pick up some ObscureHorror.com
swag.
That's Obscure Horror (one word) dot com. Tell Rich that Nolahn
sent ya.
Eh, where was I? Ayeah, reviewing my Major Award.
This movie kinda blows.
Okay, that's a bit harsh. And I should elaborate.
Demonic Toys 2 is a Full Moon Production. For the uninitiated, Full
Moon Pictures makes both kinds of horror movies: those with killer
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| Winner. |
toys and those with killer puppets. Every now and then, Full Moon will move a bit out of its comfort
zone and make a horror movie with a killer cookie.
Also, Full Moon does not acknowledge the traditional pre-credits killing. We open straight into the
credits as someone recovers slime-covered toy parts and rebuilds the toys. Seems like a big
zone and make a horror movie with a killer cookie.
Also, Full Moon does not acknowledge the traditional pre-credits killing. We open straight into the
credits as someone recovers slime-covered toy parts and rebuilds the toys. Seems like a big
| Ghosts "R" Us: It's not just the "R" that's twisted... |
waste of time to me. It must be cheaper and easier to just run
down to Toys R Us, which could be its own kind of horror movie.
We then go on site to an old castle outside of "Rome" where Poor
Man's Jenna Fischer ("Caitlin") and Poor Man's Truman Capote
("Mr. Butterfield") are waiting for someone to show up. They
conspicuously don't mention who or why, which is probably
meant to hook the viewers into the story. It doesn't.
That someone turns out to be Poor Man's Jeremy Irons, or "Dr.
Lorca" if that means anything to you. Poor Man's Jeremy Irons is
sporting some quality burn makeup and clearly a main character
from a previous film). And he's brought an entourage:
down to Toys R Us, which could be its own kind of horror movie.
We then go on site to an old castle outside of "Rome" where Poor
Man's Jenna Fischer ("Caitlin") and Poor Man's Truman Capote
("Mr. Butterfield") are waiting for someone to show up. They
conspicuously don't mention who or why, which is probably
meant to hook the viewers into the story. It doesn't.
That someone turns out to be Poor Man's Jeremy Irons, or "Dr.
Lorca" if that means anything to you. Poor Man's Jeremy Irons is
sporting some quality burn makeup and clearly a main character
from a previous film). And he's brought an entourage:
- His arm candy, Poor Man's Milla Jovovich
- Her step-son, Generic Male Lead
- A psychic of sorts, Poor Man's Little Medium from the
Poltergeist movies - A driver, Generic Male Lead with Cowboy Hat
- A crate containing the repaired Demonic Toys
| The cast of Demonic Toys 2 (sorta). |
I had a hard time sorting out what was going on -- sad, as I was taking notes -- but the gist is that
Dr. Lorca collects creepy old toys and Team Capote found a creepy old toy in the bowels of the
castle. We all go down into said bowels to check it out. Sure enough, Baby Satan is both creepy
and old. There's some nonsense about how knocking on the side of Baby Satan's box makes
him move around with fourteenth century technology. Bizarrely, that doesn't phase anyone.
Everyone discovers that their cars have been stolen, and they're all forced to spend the night in the
old castle while all the demonic toys do their Chucky impersonations.
It's not a horrible set-up, but the film is primarily made up of predictable stuff: There's a séance, a
cursed book and some con-artistry at play, and of course lots of toys sprinting across the screen
to fill the jump scare quotient. There's also some goofy purple CGI mist stuff that is employed
during possessions -- it's a look that worked in 1984's Ghostbusters, but not so much here.
I'm sure there's a very well thought-out back story to all of the supernatural shenanigans in this
film, but I'll be damned if I knew what was going on. It certainly didn't help that every demonic
entity in the film talked like one of Donald Duck's nephews.
Dr. Lorca collects creepy old toys and Team Capote found a creepy old toy in the bowels of the
castle. We all go down into said bowels to check it out. Sure enough, Baby Satan is both creepy
and old. There's some nonsense about how knocking on the side of Baby Satan's box makes
him move around with fourteenth century technology. Bizarrely, that doesn't phase anyone.
Everyone discovers that their cars have been stolen, and they're all forced to spend the night in the
old castle while all the demonic toys do their Chucky impersonations.
It's not a horrible set-up, but the film is primarily made up of predictable stuff: There's a séance, a
cursed book and some con-artistry at play, and of course lots of toys sprinting across the screen
to fill the jump scare quotient. There's also some goofy purple CGI mist stuff that is employed
during possessions -- it's a look that worked in 1984's Ghostbusters, but not so much here.
I'm sure there's a very well thought-out back story to all of the supernatural shenanigans in this
film, but I'll be damned if I knew what was going on. It certainly didn't help that every demonic
entity in the film talked like one of Donald Duck's nephews.
| Both Huey and Dewey did voice work for Demonic Toys 2. Louie is now a successful realtor in the San Fernando Valley. |
Worse is the fact that whenever the Demonic
Toys actually get around to killing someone,
the filmmakers would suddenly lose the
ability to put together a coherent scene.
Filmmaking elements as simple as where
characters are in relation to each other or
what exactly is happening would go right out
the window.
It all builds to -- I kid you not -- an appearance
by Poor Man's Satan from that Tenacious D
Movie.
Again, I don't fully understand what happened
but I know that it was unintentionally
hilarious. Too bad the climax of Demonic
Toys 2 doesn't rock like this showdown:
Toys actually get around to killing someone,
the filmmakers would suddenly lose the
ability to put together a coherent scene.
Filmmaking elements as simple as where
characters are in relation to each other or
what exactly is happening would go right out
the window.
It all builds to -- I kid you not -- an appearance
by Poor Man's Satan from that Tenacious D
Movie.
Again, I don't fully understand what happened
but I know that it was unintentionally
hilarious. Too bad the climax of Demonic
Toys 2 doesn't rock like this showdown:
If you enjoyed this review -- and of course you did -- then check out these "second opinions"
from our Friends of The 'Bin:
OBSCURE HORROR
HELLHORROR.COM
from our Friends of The 'Bin:
OBSCURE HORROR
HELLHORROR.COM