BARGAIN BIN REVIEW
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Reviewing the movies
no one else will touch.
no one else will touch.
COWBOYS RUN
* * (2003, 83 minutes, Rated PG-13)
Yippie-ki-yay, David Hasselhoff!
It all starts off so beautifully, with David Hasselhoff's head in a noose. Sweet! Unfortunately, The
Hoff doesn't get strung up – he's a cowboy who plays kid's birthday parties. And just like that, it
feels like someone cancelled Christmas.
I shouldn't have been surprised… I knew this movie would suck. This film was directed by one
Alan Smithee, which is Hollywood's way of announcing that the movie is such a pile of crap that
the director won't put his name on it. Also, there's the grammatical mess that is the film's title: It's
not Cowboy's Run as in "the run made by a cowboy." That title might have made a bit of
sense. No, it's Cowboys Run as in "when they've eaten too much chili, cowboys run for the
outhouse," and whether any actual cowboys appear in the film is debatable. Also, the movie
stars David Hasselhoff.
Okay, that might be a little unfair – The Hoff can do camp, and he's just fine as a washed-up
modern-day cowboy. Though "washed-up" might not be much of a stretch for The Hoff.
The storyline is like the set-up for a bad joke: The Hoff, Chief Corporate Sell-Out and a British
couple (we know they're British cuz they say "Oi!" and "wanker" a lot) wind up in a car together.
The Brits, perhaps inspired by Pulp Fiction, have just robbed a bingo hall, and The Hoff and
Chief Corporate Sell-Out are blamed for the crime. Wackiness ensues.
"Wackiness" was apparently the order of the day. This film is waaa-hah-acky!, like a wacky
morning radio d.j. That's not a complement.
Just check out the supporting characters: There's a glue-sniffing police detective, a blind used
car salesman, a German motel owner whose hobby is taxidermy, a band of traveling bingo
* * (2003, 83 minutes, Rated PG-13)
Yippie-ki-yay, David Hasselhoff!
It all starts off so beautifully, with David Hasselhoff's head in a noose. Sweet! Unfortunately, The
Hoff doesn't get strung up – he's a cowboy who plays kid's birthday parties. And just like that, it
feels like someone cancelled Christmas.
I shouldn't have been surprised… I knew this movie would suck. This film was directed by one
Alan Smithee, which is Hollywood's way of announcing that the movie is such a pile of crap that
the director won't put his name on it. Also, there's the grammatical mess that is the film's title: It's
not Cowboy's Run as in "the run made by a cowboy." That title might have made a bit of
sense. No, it's Cowboys Run as in "when they've eaten too much chili, cowboys run for the
outhouse," and whether any actual cowboys appear in the film is debatable. Also, the movie
stars David Hasselhoff.
Okay, that might be a little unfair – The Hoff can do camp, and he's just fine as a washed-up
modern-day cowboy. Though "washed-up" might not be much of a stretch for The Hoff.
The storyline is like the set-up for a bad joke: The Hoff, Chief Corporate Sell-Out and a British
couple (we know they're British cuz they say "Oi!" and "wanker" a lot) wind up in a car together.
The Brits, perhaps inspired by Pulp Fiction, have just robbed a bingo hall, and The Hoff and
Chief Corporate Sell-Out are blamed for the crime. Wackiness ensues.
"Wackiness" was apparently the order of the day. This film is waaa-hah-acky!, like a wacky
morning radio d.j. That's not a complement.
Just check out the supporting characters: There's a glue-sniffing police detective, a blind used
car salesman, a German motel owner whose hobby is taxidermy, a band of traveling bingo
players – one of which is a ventriloquist who talks only through his puppet. There are no actual
characters in this film, just wackiness. The sound effects are wacky. And don't even get me
started on the fight scene where farm animals are used as kung-fu weapons.
"Pig nunchucks" is just not something that was meant to be. Ever.
Of course, there’s really only one thing you want to know about this movie. The answer is yes,
The Hoff does sing in the film. But if that’s all you’re looking for, save yourself the 83 minutes
and just watch this clip below:
characters in this film, just wackiness. The sound effects are wacky. And don't even get me
started on the fight scene where farm animals are used as kung-fu weapons.
"Pig nunchucks" is just not something that was meant to be. Ever.
Of course, there’s really only one thing you want to know about this movie. The answer is yes,
The Hoff does sing in the film. But if that’s all you’re looking for, save yourself the 83 minutes
and just watch this clip below:
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