BARGAIN BIN REVIEW
Reviewing the movies
no one else will touch.
no one else will touch.
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BLOODSUCKING PHARAOHS
IN PITTSBURGH
* * * * (1991, 89 minutes, Rated R)
You guys sure know how to pick 'em!
That's quite the title, eh? So let's get this out of the way: For reasons I can't explain,
Bloodsucking Pharaohs in Pittsburgh fails to include 1) bloodsucking, 2) pharaohs, or
even guys running around in pharaoh hats, or 3) anything involving Pittsburgh.
IN PITTSBURGH
* * * * (1991, 89 minutes, Rated R)
You guys sure know how to pick 'em!
That's quite the title, eh? So let's get this out of the way: For reasons I can't explain,
Bloodsucking Pharaohs in Pittsburgh fails to include 1) bloodsucking, 2) pharaohs, or
even guys running around in pharaoh hats, or 3) anything involving Pittsburgh.
| From top to bottom: The Pittsburgh skyline, the Roberto Clemente Bridge, and Super Bowl-winning quarterback Ben Roethlisberger of the NFL's Pittsburgh Steelers... None of which appear, are represented or are even mentioned in this film. |
I usually penalize movies for this kind of
thing, but I'm going to make an exception.
What Bloodsucking Pharaohs in Pittsburgh
lacks in bloodsucking, pharaohs and
Pittsburgh, it makes up for in cheese and
gallons of gore -- though not necessarily in
that order. Here's the skivvy: Two sorry-sack
homicide detectives are on the trail of a serial
killer with a fondness for power tools. The
daughter of one detective's former partner
shows up to do all the heavy thinking, and
there's this sub-plot about the other
detective's wife trying to quit smoking, and
they all end up in the city's Little Egypt district
and, uh... Did I mention that Tom Savini did
the special makeup effects?
Oh sure. NOW you're interested...
So why does this movie work where equally
incoherent b-movies fail? For starters, the
movie does its cheese very well. Just about
every cop movie cliché finds it's way into the
film: Eating at crime scenes, the Cop On The
Edge, the Detective Who Knows The Victims,
the Screaming Police Chief, etc. It's the kind
of humor where Don Adams would have felt
right at home.
Secondly, this might be the most original
serial killer I've seen in quite some time. For
much of the movie, the killer tugs along a
wagon with a generator to operate an array of
power tools. No wussy-ass gardening claw
for this killer, no sir! During the course of the
film, the killer makes lethal use of hedge
clippers, a circular saw, a jackhammer and a
wet vac. A frickin' wet vac!!
thing, but I'm going to make an exception.
What Bloodsucking Pharaohs in Pittsburgh
lacks in bloodsucking, pharaohs and
Pittsburgh, it makes up for in cheese and
gallons of gore -- though not necessarily in
that order. Here's the skivvy: Two sorry-sack
homicide detectives are on the trail of a serial
killer with a fondness for power tools. The
daughter of one detective's former partner
shows up to do all the heavy thinking, and
there's this sub-plot about the other
detective's wife trying to quit smoking, and
they all end up in the city's Little Egypt district
and, uh... Did I mention that Tom Savini did
the special makeup effects?
Oh sure. NOW you're interested...
So why does this movie work where equally
incoherent b-movies fail? For starters, the
movie does its cheese very well. Just about
every cop movie cliché finds it's way into the
film: Eating at crime scenes, the Cop On The
Edge, the Detective Who Knows The Victims,
the Screaming Police Chief, etc. It's the kind
of humor where Don Adams would have felt
right at home.
Secondly, this might be the most original
serial killer I've seen in quite some time. For
much of the movie, the killer tugs along a
wagon with a generator to operate an array of
power tools. No wussy-ass gardening claw
for this killer, no sir! During the course of the
film, the killer makes lethal use of hedge
clippers, a circular saw, a jackhammer and a
wet vac. A frickin' wet vac!!
As you might imagine, this movie is pretty whole-sale gross. Like Troma gross. The film revels
in its grossness. How gross? There's a scene in the coroner's office where the medical
examiners dig around the latest victim's body cavity (sans gloves), then head over to the snack
table to celebrate a birthday with heaping scoops of tomato salmon casserole. Mm-mmm!
Also, there are ninjas. Okay, the ninjas don't play a major role in the film, but still: there are
ninjas. I know some of you are suckers for that kind of thing.
in its grossness. How gross? There's a scene in the coroner's office where the medical
examiners dig around the latest victim's body cavity (sans gloves), then head over to the snack
table to celebrate a birthday with heaping scoops of tomato salmon casserole. Mm-mmm!
Also, there are ninjas. Okay, the ninjas don't play a major role in the film, but still: there are
ninjas. I know some of you are suckers for that kind of thing.
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