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BIG MAN JAPAN
* * (2007, 113 minutes, Rated PG-13)
Not "Big" Enough.
My love of giant monster movies is well-documented. And in case you missed said
documentation: I love giant monster movies. They help me make sense of the world, for there is
no problem so big that can’t be stomped out by a humongous radioactive lizard.
* * (2007, 113 minutes, Rated PG-13)
Not "Big" Enough.
My love of giant monster movies is well-documented. And in case you missed said
documentation: I love giant monster movies. They help me make sense of the world, for there is
no problem so big that can’t be stomped out by a humongous radioactive lizard.
 |
Which is why I was so very excited to watch Big
Man Japan, a mockumentary about a Japanese
man whose day job is to grow many stories tall
and fight off giant monsters. Do you have any idea
how rare it is to be excited to watch the kind of
movies I review here? It’s Bigfoot-sighting rare.
You can imagine my disappointment at how mind-
numbingly dull this movie is.
The film follows Daisato, a member of the
Department of Monster Prevention. That may
sound cool, but Daisato doesn’t get to saunter
around the halls of a dramatically lit office with a
Man Japan, a mockumentary about a Japanese
man whose day job is to grow many stories tall
and fight off giant monsters. Do you have any idea
how rare it is to be excited to watch the kind of
movies I review here? It’s Bigfoot-sighting rare.
You can imagine my disappointment at how mind-
numbingly dull this movie is.
The film follows Daisato, a member of the
Department of Monster Prevention. That may
sound cool, but Daisato doesn’t get to saunter
around the halls of a dramatically lit office with a
| Problem-solver. |
team of smartly dressed colleagues, like on every procedural drama on CBS. No, this sad sack
wanders around the neighborhood, eating alone in ramen shops, moping on park benches and
browsing for umbrellas. Daisato’s wife and daughter have left him, he has no friends other than a
stray cat and lives in a run-down little house that habitually has bricks thrown through the windows
because everyone hates him. Sadly, that last bit is nowhere near as wacky as it sounds.
The filmmaker asks Daisato questions. Daisato strains to put together a complete thought. This
goes on seemingly forever. It’s a bad sign when I’m checking the time 15 minutes into a movie.
wanders around the neighborhood, eating alone in ramen shops, moping on park benches and
browsing for umbrellas. Daisato’s wife and daughter have left him, he has no friends other than a
stray cat and lives in a run-down little house that habitually has bricks thrown through the windows
because everyone hates him. Sadly, that last bit is nowhere near as wacky as it sounds.
The filmmaker asks Daisato questions. Daisato strains to put together a complete thought. This
goes on seemingly forever. It’s a bad sign when I’m checking the time 15 minutes into a movie.
| Stare at this picture for 20 minutes. You'll get a good sense of what watching this movie is like. |
Part of the reason Daisato does little but putz around town is that he’s constantly on-call. When he
does get the call, he heads over to the local electric plant and zaps himself. This causes him to
grow several stories tall (within a giant pair of purple briefs -- nice nod to the Hulk there), and he
goes off, hair standing on end and club in hand, to dispatch the monster.
I must say that the monsters are extremely cool. Presented in a crazy blend of CGI and claymation,
the monsters Daisato must fight are the stuff Tim Burton might’ve come up with after a long night
of drinking bleach. Unfortunately, the fight sequences are very brief, and the fact that Daisato takes
on the challenge like a glum exterminator drains some of the joy out of it all.
does get the call, he heads over to the local electric plant and zaps himself. This causes him to
grow several stories tall (within a giant pair of purple briefs -- nice nod to the Hulk there), and he
goes off, hair standing on end and club in hand, to dispatch the monster.
I must say that the monsters are extremely cool. Presented in a crazy blend of CGI and claymation,
the monsters Daisato must fight are the stuff Tim Burton might’ve come up with after a long night
of drinking bleach. Unfortunately, the fight sequences are very brief, and the fact that Daisato takes
on the challenge like a glum exterminator drains some of the joy out of it all.
| "Battle" scene. |
For defending his homeland, everyone hates
Daisato. The public hates him for all the
property damage he causes and for his half-
hearted fighting. His agent hates him
because his lack of popularity makes it
difficult to tattoo advertising space on his
body. Me? I just hate him cuz he’s boring.
But if you have the inclination, and you can
tough it out, the last 20 minutes almost
redeem the entire film. Describing what
happens, even in Ye Olde Spoilers Box,
would not do it justice. By a long shot. All I’ll
say is that what happens is so strange, so
bizarre, that I laughed my ass off the entire
time, and all was forgiven.
Well, almost.
Daisato. The public hates him for all the
property damage he causes and for his half-
hearted fighting. His agent hates him
because his lack of popularity makes it
difficult to tattoo advertising space on his
body. Me? I just hate him cuz he’s boring.
But if you have the inclination, and you can
tough it out, the last 20 minutes almost
redeem the entire film. Describing what
happens, even in Ye Olde Spoilers Box,
would not do it justice. By a long shot. All I’ll
say is that what happens is so strange, so
bizarre, that I laughed my ass off the entire
time, and all was forgiven.
Well, almost.
If you're looking for a second opinion, then check
out what Deborah had to say over at Film
Arcade.net.
Or you can check out these other imports from
Japan...
out what Deborah had to say over at Film
Arcade.net.
Or you can check out these other imports from
Japan...
| '10 Binnie Winner! |