Bin Specials
Cock-eyed takes on movies you may have actually heard of... and pretty
much anything else we feel like slopping up here.
much anything else we feel like slopping up here.
THE FIRST MOVIE I EVER SAW This certainly will explain a lot.
Of course, there's no way to know for sure if this really is The First Movie I Ever Saw -- my folks
could have plunked Baby Nolahn down in front of a TV airing of Planet of the Apes... -MORE-
Of course, there's no way to know for sure if this really is The First Movie I Ever Saw -- my folks
could have plunked Baby Nolahn down in front of a TV airing of Planet of the Apes... -MORE-
SEXY SERIAL KILLERS So hot right now...
I was recently challenged to write about Sexy Serial Killers. This was something of a problem
for me: Call me kooky, but I don’t find serial killers sexy. At all. -MORE-
I was recently challenged to write about Sexy Serial Killers. This was something of a problem
for me: Call me kooky, but I don’t find serial killers sexy. At all. -MORE-
ALL TOO SHOCKING! Loving the unloved.
Nolahn shamelessly runs down the Top Five universally panned movies that hold a warm spot
in the charred lump of coal that functions as his heart. -MORE-
Nolahn shamelessly runs down the Top Five universally panned movies that hold a warm spot
in the charred lump of coal that functions as his heart. -MORE-
GOBBLE, GOBBLE Two incredible turkeys for the price of one!
In this Bin Special, Nolahn examines not one but TWO film turkeys from one of his all-time
favorite movie franchises... -MORE-
In this Bin Special, Nolahn examines not one but TWO film turkeys from one of his all-time
favorite movie franchises... -MORE-
WINNER BY A NOSE Ways Oscar-bait puts the "special" in special effects.
What is in a nose that can make it smell so sweet? Nose hair. Nose gay. Nose cone.
Nosebleed. Nose candy. A nose for gold? Time to tackle a theory I've taken for... -MORE-
What is in a nose that can make it smell so sweet? Nose hair. Nose gay. Nose cone.
Nosebleed. Nose candy. A nose for gold? Time to tackle a theory I've taken for... -MORE-
WHAT WE DO FOR "LOVE" And by "love," I mean "piece of tail."
Listen my friends to this tale of woe, of the rise and fall of a New York Lothario... -MORE-
Listen my friends to this tale of woe, of the rise and fall of a New York Lothario... -MORE-
THE TROLL CHALLENGE The readers have spoken.
One of these trolls is not like the other / One of these trolls just doesn't belong. -MORE-
One of these trolls is not like the other / One of these trolls just doesn't belong. -MORE-
PATHETIC SPACE INVADERS The Worst-Laid Plans of Mice and Spacemen
This recap -- not a review, but a full recap of the entire film, so grab a pillow and a snack -- is my
entry in the Incompetent Invaders Roundtable over at the Monster Shack. As if I needed an
excuse to watch a Godzilla movie... -MORE-
This recap -- not a review, but a full recap of the entire film, so grab a pillow and a snack -- is my
entry in the Incompetent Invaders Roundtable over at the Monster Shack. As if I needed an
excuse to watch a Godzilla movie... -MORE-
ARE RELATIONSHIPS THAT SIMPLE? Recapping the Worst Romance Ever.
NOLAHN'S THESIS: You can be a whiny, immature and border-line psychopath, but if you look
pretty, you too can screw, marry and eventually kill the hottest royalty in the universe. -MORE-
NOLAHN'S THESIS: You can be a whiny, immature and border-line psychopath, but if you look
pretty, you too can screw, marry and eventually kill the hottest royalty in the universe. -MORE-
BBadLib STORY GENERATOR Make a sequel to The Dragon Lives Again!
Hey kids! Ever dream of writing the storyline to a movie, but thought that sorting out the details
to all that plot, dialogue and character development would be a drag? -MORE-
Hey kids! Ever dream of writing the storyline to a movie, but thought that sorting out the details
to all that plot, dialogue and character development would be a drag? -MORE-
FEAR FACTORS The Top Six Things that Make Nolahn Want to Wet 'Em.
It's that most wonderful time of the year... where we encourage our young ones to dress up in
macabre costumes and pester our neighbors for free candy... -MORE-
It's that most wonderful time of the year... where we encourage our young ones to dress up in
macabre costumes and pester our neighbors for free candy... -MORE-
PARTY OF ONE A New Year's log of one man's fight to party.
Is one the loneliest number? Nolahn finds out when he spends New Year's Eve 2008 all by
himself... -MORE-
Is one the loneliest number? Nolahn finds out when he spends New Year's Eve 2008 all by
himself... -MORE-
2009 BINNIE AWARDS Celebrating a full year of crap.
It's all the glamor of an award show without any of the bloated musical numbers or red carpet
cattiness. See which films are among the best of the worst... -MORE-
It's all the glamor of an award show without any of the bloated musical numbers or red carpet
cattiness. See which films are among the best of the worst... -MORE-
BBadLib: STEVEN SEAGAL EDITION [BLANK] of [BLANK]!
The way I see it, Seagal movies are like hot dogs: They're all cheap and of questionable
quality, they're all essentially the same and yet they're strangely satisfying. -MORE-
The way I see it, Seagal movies are like hot dogs: They're all cheap and of questionable
quality, they're all essentially the same and yet they're strangely satisfying. -MORE-
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
EXTRA, EXTRA Coverage of the Bargain Bin Review's first press conference.
LITTLE FALLS, NY (November 3, 2009) – During an impromptu press conference on the steps
of City Hall, local movie reviewer “Nolahn” announced ... -MORE-
LITTLE FALLS, NY (November 3, 2009) – During an impromptu press conference on the steps
of City Hall, local movie reviewer “Nolahn” announced ... -MORE-
SOMMELIER SERVICE Pairing Fine Spirits with Not-So Fine B-Movie Genres
The Bargain Bin Review's team of scientists have been compiling data from the two things
we've researched extensively: bad movies and alcohol. -MORE-
The Bargain Bin Review's team of scientists have been compiling data from the two things
we've researched extensively: bad movies and alcohol. -MORE-
2010 BINNIE AWARDS Rewarding the worst of our '09 season.
The Binnies return, bigger and better than before! This one has it all: Thrills! Chills! Upsets!
Ties! More ties! And Controversy! -MORE-
The Binnies return, bigger and better than before! This one has it all: Thrills! Chills! Upsets!
Ties! More ties! And Controversy! -MORE-
ELMORE, OFFICIAL CAT OF THE 'BIN In Memoriam.
In a rare moment on somberness, we pay tribute to the live, times and works of the Official Cat
of the Bargain Bin Review. -MORE-
In a rare moment on somberness, we pay tribute to the live, times and works of the Official Cat
of the Bargain Bin Review. -MORE-
CHRISTMAS SPECIAL FUN PACK: ANIMATED EDITION
Deck the halls with best-forgotten cartoons.
Every year, the networks roll out a number of beloved Christmas specials. These are not those
shows... -MORE-
Deck the halls with best-forgotten cartoons.
Every year, the networks roll out a number of beloved Christmas specials. These are not those
shows... -MORE-
JURY DUTY: THE MOVIE Do your duty.
Nolahn was recently called to serve jury duty. In a World Exclusive Review, Nolahn tells the tale
of the movie shows to the pool of prospective jurors... -MORE-
Nolahn was recently called to serve jury duty. In a World Exclusive Review, Nolahn tells the tale
of the movie shows to the pool of prospective jurors... -MORE-
2009 STATE OF THE 'BIN ADDRESS With Nolahn dressed as Elvis
On the eve of our second anniversary and 100th review, our Chief Reviewing Officer talks to the
nation about the state of the Bargain Bin Review. -MORE-
On the eve of our second anniversary and 100th review, our Chief Reviewing Officer talks to the
nation about the state of the Bargain Bin Review. -MORE-
SMITH & WESSON SHOOTING CENTER VIDEO World Exclusive Review!
Jim begins by taking us through the basics — Don’t Point Guns at People — while meandering
through a retail space with lots and lots and lots of Smith & Wesson items. -MORE-
Jim begins by taking us through the basics — Don’t Point Guns at People — while meandering
through a retail space with lots and lots and lots of Smith & Wesson items. -MORE-
ARE YOU "BLAX" ENOUGH? A scientific measurement.
Between the movies reviewed here and at The Lair of the Unwanted, we noticed a number of
recurring trends in the blaxploitation genre. That was enough to get the interest of our crack
team of experts piqued -MORE-
Between the movies reviewed here and at The Lair of the Unwanted, we noticed a number of
recurring trends in the blaxploitation genre. That was enough to get the interest of our crack
team of experts piqued -MORE-
ALL TOO SHOCKING 2: MOVIES I HATE Losing friends and alienates readers.
Please note that these films are not listed by how much I hate the film, but by how much crap I’d
get for saying I hate the film. -MORE-
Please note that these films are not listed by how much I hate the film, but by how much crap I’d
get for saying I hate the film. -MORE-