THE APPLE (1980, 90 minutes, Rated PG) * * *
Our Reviews
It's like a very sad cinematic hall of fame.
DEATHSTALKER II (1987, 86 minutes, Rated R) * * * * *
DRACULA A.D. 1972 (1972, 96 minutes, Rated PG) * * *
COWBOYS RUN (2003, 83 minutes, Rated PG-13) * *
BLOOD ANGELS (2004, 98 minutes, Rated R) * * *
DRAGON STORM (2004, 92 minutes, Rated PG-13) * *
BLOODSUCKING PHARAOHS IN PITTSBURGH (1991, 89 minutes, Rated R) * * * *
DEATH BED: THE BED THAT EATS (1977, 80 minutes, Unrated) * * * *
With only a few exceptions, we rate our movies on a 1 - 4 asterisk system. Yeah, that's right:
asterisks. If the movies we're watching can't be bothered with plot or character development or
decent production values, then we're not going to bother having some fancy graphics made up
for our ratings system.
Since these films are quality-optional, ratings are based on pure entertainment value:
* * * * * Top shelf entertainment -- the very best of the bad.
* * * * Good stuff! Get some buddies and some cheap booze, and enjoy.
* * * We liked it more than we disliked it.
* * We disliked it more than we liked it.
* This thing sucks!
-- Will make you want to hurt somebody.
asterisks. If the movies we're watching can't be bothered with plot or character development or
decent production values, then we're not going to bother having some fancy graphics made up
for our ratings system.
Since these films are quality-optional, ratings are based on pure entertainment value:
* * * * * Top shelf entertainment -- the very best of the bad.
* * * * Good stuff! Get some buddies and some cheap booze, and enjoy.
* * * We liked it more than we disliked it.
* * We disliked it more than we liked it.
* This thing sucks!
-- Will make you want to hurt somebody.
About Our Rating System
THE BREAKDANCE KID (2004, 87 minutes, Unrated) * *
THE DEATHLESS DEVIL (1973, 85 minutes, Unrated) * * * *
CINDERELLA III: A TWIST IN TIME (2006, 74 minutes, Rated G) * *
If you only have a rough idea of what you're looking for, you can peruse our Movie
Channels over on the left. Or you can scroll through our extensive roster of film reviews
below.
Channels over on the left. Or you can scroll through our extensive roster of film reviews
below.
BIO ZOMBIE (1998, 90 minutes, Unrated) * * * *
BLACK SHEEP (2006, 87 minutes, Unrated) * * *
DEAD SEXY (2000, 89 minutes, Unrated) *
ALIEN VS. HUNTER (2007, 85 minutes, Unrated) *
CREATURE FROM THE HAUNTED SEA (1961, 74 min, Unrated) * *
BLOODY MALLORY (2005, 95 minutes, Rated R) * *
DON'T GO INTO THE WOODS (1981, 81 minutes, Rated R) *
THE DRAGON LIVES AGAIN (1976, 87 minutes, Unrated) * * * * *
BLOODSUCKING REDNECK VAMPIRES (2004, 108 minutes, Unrated) * * *
30,000 LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA (2007, 85 minutes, Rated TV-14) * * *
BAD GIRLS FROM MARS (1991?, 81 minutes, Rated R) *
DANCE OF THE DEAD (2008, 87 minutes, Rated R) * * *
THE CARE BEARS BIG WISH MOVIE (2005, 75 minutes, Unrated) * *
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CHEERLEADER CAMP (1987, 88 minutes, Rated R) * * *
BAIL OUT ("1997," 88 minutes, Rated R) * *
THE DAY THE EARTH STOPPED (2008, 90 minutes, Unrated) * *
BIG MAN JAPAN (2007, 113 minutes, Rated PG-13) * *
100 MILLION B.C. (2008, 85 minutes, Unrated) * * *
CLUB VAMPIRE (1997, 77 minutes, Rated R) *
DEAD MOON RISING (2007, 98 minutes, Unrated) * * *
DRACULA 3000 (2004, 86 minutes, Rated R) * * * *
BARBIE AS THE PRINCESS AND THE PAUPER (2004, 85 min, Unrated) * *
THE CAT (1992, 84 minutes, Unrated) * * * *
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BARBIE AND THE THREE MUSKETEERS (2009, 81 min, Unrated) * *
BARBIE AND THE MAGIC OF PEGASUS (2005, 85 min, Unrated) * * *
AGAINST THE DARK (2008, 94 minutes, Rated R) * *
THE ASTRO-ZOMBIES (1968, 91 minutes, Unrated) *
DEMONIC TOYS 2 (2010, 80 minutes, Unrated) * *
BIG MONEY HUSTLAS (2000, 97 minutes, Unrated) * * *
THE BEAST OF YUCCA FLATS (1961, 54 min, Unrated) * * *
AMERICAN NINJA (1985, 95 minutes, Rated R) * * * *
DOG SOLDIERS (2002, 105 minutes, Rated R) * * *
BELA LUGOSI MEETS A BROOKLYN GORILLA (1952, 74 min, Unrated) * *
CHOPPING MALL (1986, 77 minutes, Rated R) * * * *
BLACK BELT JONES (1974, 85 minutes, Rated R) * * * * *
AIR BUDDIES (2006, 80 minutes, Rated PG) * *
ACCEPTABLE RISK (2001, 92 minutes, Unrated) * * *
CARE BEARS II: A NEW GENERATION (1986, 76 minutes, Rated G) * *
THE DA VINCI TREASURE (2006, 91 minutes, Rated R) *
ALMIGHTY THOR (2011, 90 minutes, Unrated) * * * *
18-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN (2008, 86 minutes, Unrated) * *
THE ADVENTURES OF PLUTO NASH (2002, 85 minutes, Rated PG-13) * *
ALVIN & CHIPMUNKS: THE SQUEAKQUEL (2009, 88 minutes, Rated PG) *
BALLISTIC: ECKS VS. SEVER (2002, 91 minutes, Rated R) ---
BATTLEFIELD EARTH (2000, 117 min, Rated PG-13) *
CUTTHROAT ISLAND (1995, 118 min, Rated PG-13) *
THE CROCODILE HUNTER (2002, 90 minutes, Rated PG) * * *
BRIDE OF THE MONSTER (1955, 68 minutes, Unrated) * * *
DOUBLE TEAM (1997, 93 minutes, Rated R) * * *
BLACK CHRISTMAS (2006) (2006, 95 minutes, Unrated) * *
AAAH! ZOMBIES!! (2007, 91 minutes, Unrated) * * *
BUBBA HO-TEP (2002, 93 minutes, Rated R) * * * *
DRIVEN TO KILL (2009, 98 minutes, Rated R) * * *
CREEPSHOW III (2006, 110 min, Unrated) ---
THE CHAPERONE (2011, 105 minutes, Rated PG-13) * *
DEEP BLUE SEA (1999, 105 minutes, Rated R) * * * *
BABY GENIUSES (1999, 97 minutes, Rated PG) *
BATMAN & ROBIN (1997, 125 min, Rated PG-13) *
BEST OF THE BEST (1989, 97 minutes, Rated PG-13) * * * *