THE APPLE (1980, 90 minutes, Rated PG) * * *
Our Reviews
It's like a very sad cinematic hall of fame.
DEATHSTALKER II (1987, 86 minutes, Rated R) * * * * *
DRACULA A.D. 1972 (1972, 96 minutes, Rated PG) * * *
HAMMERHEAD: SHARK FRENZY (2005, 92 minutes, Rated R) * * *
ROCK & ROLL FRANKENSTEIN (1999, 88 minutes, Rated R) --
RUMPELSTILTSKIN (1995, 91 minutes, Rated R) * *
SASQUATCH HUNTERS (2005, 88 minutes, Rated R) * * *
VAMPIYAZ (2004, 83 minutes, Rated R) * * * *
VOLCANO HIGH (2003, 80 minutes [US Version], Rated PG-13) * * *
COWBOYS RUN (2003, 83 minutes, Rated PG-13) * *
BLOOD ANGELS (2004, 98 minutes, Rated R) * * *
ROTTWEILER (2004, 98 minutes, Rated R) *
ROCK 'N' ROLL NIGHTMARE (1987, 89 minutes, Rated R) * * * * *
ILLEGAL ALIENS By TonyD. (2007, 90 minutes, Rated R) *
DRAGON STORM (2004, 92 minutes, Rated PG-13) * *
HELL ASYLUM (2002, 72 minutes, Rated R) *
THE ELIMINATOR (2004, 90 minutes, Rated R) * * *
MONSTER (2007, 85 minutes, Unrated) *
SANTA CLAWS (1996, 120 minutes, Rated R) * *
BLOODSUCKING PHARAOHS IN PITTSBURGH (1991, 89 minutes, Rated R) * * * *
DEATH BED: THE BED THAT EATS (1977, 80 minutes, Unrated) * * * *
With only a few exceptions, we rate our movies on a 1 - 4 asterisk system. Yeah, that's right:
asterisks. If the movies we're watching can't be bothered with plot or character development or
decent production values, then we're not going to bother having some fancy graphics made up
for our ratings system.
The breakdown looks like this:
* * * * * The Tiger Woods of bad movies
* * * * Get some buddies and some cheap booze, and enjoy.
* * * Yeah, it's pretty bad.
* * It's bad, and not in a good way.
* Crappy with an extra helping of crap on the side.
-- Will make you want to hurt yourself.
asterisks. If the movies we're watching can't be bothered with plot or character development or
decent production values, then we're not going to bother having some fancy graphics made up
for our ratings system.
The breakdown looks like this:
* * * * * The Tiger Woods of bad movies
* * * * Get some buddies and some cheap booze, and enjoy.
* * * Yeah, it's pretty bad.
* * It's bad, and not in a good way.
* Crappy with an extra helping of crap on the side.
-- Will make you want to hurt yourself.
About Our Rating System
SENORITA JUSTICE (2003, 88 minutes, Rated R) * * *
MY LITTLE PONY: THE MOVIE (1986, 89 minutes, Unrated) *
SUNDAY SCHOOL MUSICAL (2008, 85 minutes, Unrated) * *
PINOCCHIO'S REVENGE (1996, 96 minutes, Rated R) * *
KILLER KLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE ('88, 86 min, PG-13) * * * *
HAWK THE SLAYER (1980, 90 minutes, Rated PG) * * * *
TROLL 2 (1999, 95 minutes, Rated PG-13) * * * *
THE BREAKDANCE KID (2004, 87 minutes, Unrated) * *
TARKAN VS THE VIKINGS (1971, 86 minutes, Unrated) * * * *
THE DEATHLESS DEVIL (1973, 85 minutes, Unrated) * * * *
CINDERELLA III: A TWIST IN TIME (2006, 74 minutes, Rated G) * *
WARNING FROM SPACE (1956, 87 minutes, Unrated) *
NIGHT OF THE LEPUS (1972, 88 minutes, Rated PG) * *
If you only have a rough idea of what you're looking for, you can peruse our Movie
Channels over on the left. Or you can scroll through our extensive roster of film reviews
below.
Channels over on the left. Or you can scroll through our extensive roster of film reviews
below.
BIO ZOMBIE (1998, 90 minutes, Unrated) * * * *
BLACK SHEEP (2006, 87 minutes, Unrated) * * *
ROBO VAMPIRE (1987, 90 minutes, Unrated) * * *
HELL OF THE LIVING DEAD (1981, 103 minutes, Unrated) *
THE FALLEN ONES (2005, 89 minutes, Unrated) * * *
DEAD SEXY (2000, 89 minutes, Unrated) *
ALIEN VS. HUNTER (2007, 85 minutes, Unrated) *
SECOND NATURE (2002, 91 minutes, Unrated) * *
CREATURE FROM THE HAUNTED SEA (1961, 74 min, Unrated) * *
BLOODY MALLORY (2005, 95 minutes, Rated R) * *
DOG SOLDIERS (2002, 105 minutes, Rated R) * * *
FRANKENFISH (2004, 84 minutes, Rated R) * * * *
THE DRAGON LIVES AGAIN (1976, 87 minutes, Unrated) * * * * *
SANTA'S SLAY (2005, 78 minutes, Rated R) * * *
ZOMBIE STRIPPERS (2008, 94 minutes, Unrated) * * * *
BLOODSUCKING REDNECK VAMPIRES (2004, 108 minutes, Unrated) * * *
30,000 LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA (2007, 85 minutes, Rated TV-14) * * *
TEENAGE CATGIRLS IN HEAT (1997, 84 minutes, Unrated) *
BAD GIRLS FROM MARS (1991?, 81 minutes, Rated R) *
DANCE OF THE DEAD (2008, 87 minutes, Rated R) * * *
ROBOT JOX (1990, 85 minutes, Rated PG) * * *
THE CARE BEARS BIG WISH MOVIE (2005, 75 minutes, Unrated) * *
JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA (1997, 86 minutes, Unrated) * * * *
FLIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (2007, 96 minutes, Unrated) * * * *
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TRANSMORPHERS (2007, 86 minutes, Rated R) *
POULTRYGEIST (2006, 138 minutes, Unrated) * * * *
CHEERLEADER CAMP (1987, 88 minutes, Rated R) * * *
BAIL OUT ("1997," 88 minutes, Rated R) * *
UNDEAD OR ALIVE (2007, 91 minutes, Rated R) * * *
MEGA SHARK VS. GIANT OCTOPUS (2009, 90 minutes, Rated R) * * * * *
SHARK ATTACK By The Wolf. (1999, 100 minutes, Rated R) *
THE DAY THE EARTH STOPPED (2008, 90 minutes, Unrated) * *
KING OF THE LOST WORLD (2005, 85 minutes, Rated R) * * *
SNAKES ON A TRAIN (2006, 91 minutes, Unrated) * * *
NIGHT OF THE WEREWOLF (1980, 93 minutes, Rated R) * * *
BIG MAN JAPAN (2007, 113 minutes, Rated PG-13) * *
JACK FROST 2 (2000, 91 minutes, Rated R) * * *
VAMPIRES VS. ZOMBIES (2004, 83 minutes, Rated R) --
100 MILLION B.C. (2008, 85 minutes, Unrated) * * *
MONSTER MAN (2003, 95 minutes, Rated R) * * *
CLUB VAMPIRE (1997, 77 minutes, Rated R) *
DEAD MOON RISING (2007, 98 minutes, Unrated) * * *
DRACULA 3000 (2004, 86 minutes, Rated R) * * * *
LOST BOYS: THE TRIBE (2008, 94 minutes, Unrated) * *
DRIVEN TO KILL (2009, 98 minutes, Rated R) * * *
BARBIE AS THE PRINCESS AND THE PAUPER (2004, 85 min, Unrated) * *
PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE (1958, 78 minutes, Unrated) * * * * *
KISS EXPOSED (1987, 90 minutes, Unrated) * * *
KISS MEETS THE PHANTOM OF THE PARK (1978, 96 minutes, Unrated) * * * *
THE CAT (1992, 84 minutes, Unrated) * * * *
LETHAL NINJA (1993, 83 minutes, Rated R) * * *
THE GENIUS CLUB (2006, 111 minutes, Rated PG) * *
FATAL DESIRE (2003, 86 minutes, Unrated) * *